Wednesday, April 26, 2017

747 Words Exactly:

SPECTRUM.
[A young black man, a young woman with dyed hair, and a tall, proud-looking portly man with a beard and long hair tied back. All of them are seated on a rock underneath a Clock Tower at a Community College. The last of the three notices a scrawny, reserved character pass through the campus like a ghost.]
LEO: Oh, my GOD. RICARDO! HEY!
[Ricardo hesitates and then approaches silently.]
RICARDO: Fancy seeing YOU here.
LEO: FANCY. Yes.
RICARDO: Enjoying your education? What’s her name?
[She is silent.]
LEO: Hey, I read your blog. [just as matter-of-factly:] There’s some pretty homophobic stuff there.
RICARDO: [smugly] I prefer the term “heteroelitist”. After all: I am not an uneducated man.
LEO: Some of it’s pretty misogynistic as well.
RICARDO: [Pause.] I do not hate women. I simply have a selective view of what CONSTITUTES a woman.
LEO: So you’re just an old school Christian then.
RICARDO: [stridently, spreading his arms like a bro, inviting them to agree and give credit where credit is due:] HEY! The Judeo-Christian sexual ethic isn’t quite as bad as their economics. I mean: it actually WORKS!
AMY: If you’re heterosexual.
RICARDO: I don’t think I like your tone.
AMY: Well that’s too bad then.
RICARDO: No, don’t worry about it. It’s just that for a moment it seemed like you were trying to blame ME for the degeneracy of others.
LEO: Woah, there. I don’t approve of that sort of rhetoric.
RICARDO: And *I* don’t approve of that sort of attitude. [regaining placid composure.] But it is no matter. Yes: you ARE right. It is IF you’re a heterosexual, but it all so leaves no ALTERNATIVE but to BE heterosexual. I mean: that’s LITERALLY the entire ethic!
LEO: And what about the people who disagree?
RICARDO: What ABOUT them? This isn’t some sort of pansy neo-Liberal hogwash that says that you can do whatever YOU WANT, MAN. I mean: let us pray that the ethic that we live by is concerned with more than just “human rights” and self-entitlement.
LEO: Please: never use those two words in such proximity with one an other.
RICARDO: You are right; I was being redundant.
AMY: Okay I can’t stand listening to this. Will someone PLEASE shut him up?
RICARDO: I will continue where you and I left off, then babe. You said “IF YOU’RE HETEROSEXUAL”. But there IS no “if you’re”. In any TRUE society, there is only the “You Shall” or, as our antigeny put it: “THOU SHALT”.
LEO: But that’s just, like, your opinion, man.
RICARDO: On the contrary: it is the only UNIVERSAL argument that has been made today. HARDLY a matter of individual self-interest or partisan bias.
[He exits.]
DOMINIC: Can you believe that guy?
AMY: I don’t want to talk about him.
LEO: I liked him. He has convictions. One rarely sees them nowadays.
DOMINIC: PLEASE. If I want convictions I’ll log onto the Social Network.
LEO: Still: he speaks his mind. Even if it sounds backwards.
AMY: I can’t be around him.
LEO: Isn’t your whole thing “tolerance”?
AMY: [She stares.] Are you serious??
LEO: Hey. I’m not trying to judge you.
AMY: You BETTER not be.
LEO: It would be intolerant of me. So I couldn’t claim that you’re “not tolerant enough”.
[She visibly misses the hint, so he continues.]
LEO: But any way: Tolerance is not some thing that I really value.
AMY: HUH?!
LEO: There was a theologian and a poet named G.K. Chesterton. And he said some thing like: Tolerance is the virtue of a man without convictions. THAT guy over there… he has convictions.
AMY: Well. I have convictions about him.
LEO: It’s a start. I guess I should thank him.
AMY: How come??
LEO: I was always afraid you didn’t have any.
[She looks mortified.]
LEO: Any way, I’m off to get dinner. SEE you!
[He exits.]
DOMINIC: I can’t believe either of them. WHITE people, right?
AMY: Ahem.
DOMINIC: Aww come on you know what I MEAN, baby girl.
AMY: HOME girl.
DOMINIC: HOMIE.
AMY: You know: I really hate it when you do that.
DOMINIC: What?
AMY: Forget I’m white. All because I am a girl.
DOMINIC: You know what I mean.
AMY: Your parents might have raised you to be prejudiced. But that’s no excuse.
DOMINIC: SORRY. Jesus.
AMY: I don’t think you are. But it’s okay.
[She exits. He alone remains.]
DOMINIC: BITCHES.
[He lights a cigarette and smokes privately.]


Dm.A.A.

CANCER MIDHEAVEN: [poem.]

CANCER MIDHEAVEN:

Didn’t your mother ever tell you
You were nothing without the approval
Of the masses? Did you not seek
Your improvement? All the classes
That you took you had to pass and
Only for the Greater Good.

And if you tried to hassle facts in your own favour
Everyone who understood this would prohibit
Your behaviour? So how can you like a knave
Exhibit so depraved and strange of a position?

Well: the sex you crave is just one more
Ambition. Waited twenty-six years you can wait
Some more if you are on a mission.
If they all reject you that’s the damn human
Condition.

So how dare you contradict me
When I condescend upon you.
Didn’t Mom tell you to treat your
Betters with respect. How come you
Have to redirect the blame I found you
Worthy of back in my face?
Your mother surely is ashamed
Of your burly disgrace.

So long you must have waited
To find some one you were fated for.
If she turned you away just like she hated you
Well: you can wait some more.

No other woman here would love you.
Do not be a whore.
Didn’t Mother ever tell you that
Each Monday morning that she had to shove
You out the door?

Didn’t any body tell you
That you are a parasite
If you do things just the way you want to
And you do not DO THEM RIGHT?

How dare you criticise or analyse me
From that lesser place?
When you were the transgressor
And I told it to your face.

YOU now have to answer
You’re the CANCER in your mother’s throat.
YOU don’t get to dance around and YOU
Don’t get a FUCKING VOTE.

When you tuck in tonight
With some infernal whore you met
I wonder if she makes you sore
And if what’s more that you forget

You had to score her telling her about your
Childhood: all the books and the wild
Places you never were allowed to see
The paths you never took.

You had to put them off
But never to procrastinate
I scoff at you now that you’re
Knodding off and you accrue
All of my hate…

Tell her about what a great child you were
You never once rebelled for you knew that
Rebellion was selfish and the kids would
Go to hell.

The world had gone to hell
And you were born and raised just to redeem it
Didn’t Mother tell you? No. Then SURELY YOU
MUST DREAM IT!!

Didn’t any body tell you:
Our society depends upon
The sternest of propriety
The fiercest loyalty of friends?

And no one would ever love you
If you sought your solitary ends
But goodness waits above for those who
Never followed crooked trends.

That the hollowness you feel
Would be promptly satiated
But you had to come to terms with
What was real and what was fated.

That you strove for the ideal
Even if striving you had hated.
Don’t you dare now fucking steal
The time invested on your plate and

Don’t compare me to a character
Who seeks things of his own accord.
I’ve found you to be guilty and I will
Not be condemned until this Order is
Restored.

And so my order is the same:
You do not get a vote until you’ve
Cleared your name and OH:
THE SHAME.

We are not all the same.

And if you see some insubordination
In a maiden’s eye. Then you must TAKE
JUST WHAT IS DUE TO YOU.
To pardon her mistake she’ll have
To die. And is this NEW to you?

No. Don’t you even try.
To tell me that you didn’t try to screw
Me with this alibi.

I’ve added all the facts together
I have found the time.
And I understand. And I see through this
Wretched paradigm.

Chaos and debauchery.
Sodomy and sins.
This is what philosophy will end in:
Where all morality begins.

Didn’t Mother ever tell you
When someone talks down to you?
To humble yourself like the worthless
Father that you never knew?

If you cleverly avoid me
All your personhood destroyed will be
Was your boyhood not just preparation
For your adult life? Where do you have to run to
When the outer world is torn with strife?

Forlorn without a wife to shelter you
Now from the storm. AT least you can
Continue to defy the deviant and social
Norm.

But think not that you do this
For yourself and for your rights.
If you manage to get through this,
It will be because we need you

To fight on again and yet again
In every fading fight…
This is what the World will ask of you
Through those who feed you.

If you want to breed, too
You will find a light somewhere
Out in the dark.

But beware and do prepare
To promptly disembark.

For the lark will only now accept
The hero who is fervent.
If you zero in on some one
Don’t presume that you deserve it.

Sex will only come to those who
Are ready to raise a family.
And next to that no one will stand
We will not tolerate calamity.

Now what will you produce
Now to seduce this woman
That you court?
You had only to show her you
Are of a Noble sort.

No one cares about your childhood fantasies
They’re all the same as all the rest.
What matters: your geometry
Geography. Geology.
What matters is you prove to be

THE BEST! AT ALL YOU DO!

For that was what your childhood was.
Or are you, fiendish deviant, not
only stupid? are you

SPOILED

Too?

Dm.A.A.

Last Letter to R.A.R.:

RAFAEL:

You seem to have forgotten the debt you owe to me. Per chance your injury robbed you of common sense, so I shall be your stand-in conscience once more:

There is no way to pardon the offense to me. All you can do to salvage your well-being is to return to me my belongings or some just compensation for them. I need not threaten you with slander. The Truth would suffice.

You and Daniel broke sacred rules when you violated the Team. Not only was I put in the uncomfortable posture of having to keep your hedonistic insubordination a secret. I ALL so had to bear the humiliating PHYSICAL discomfort of sleeping on your bare floor, cleaning your home in expectation of an event that never happened, spending a sleepless night on your couch (of which I say lightly that it was "yours") and FINALLY when I BEGGED you not to depart the tournament without first consulting the coaches, knowing that it was in your best interest, for I have never operated out of SELF-interest but out of the COLLECTIVE GOOD, I had to watch you turn away from me (and from YOUNG DEBATERS who NEEDED me!!) in blatant disrespect, REFUSING your role as driver. I never received formal thanks for the warning, for which you still owe me, for you will remember that you endangered the entire team with your antics, whereas I remained blameless. Instead you pretended towards an illusory victimhood upon the very stage that I had brought you to, and I know not HOW you found the NERVE to say that any one has ever taken advantage of you when you literally had two houses, both of which we cleaned for free and under false pretenses, you were only supposed to serve the TEAM that we had ALL committed to, (and we would not have relied upon you had we known you were untrustworthy, but you refused to communicate such logistics openly to the team and even held such transparency AGAINST me) and one last thing: YOU DON'T MATTER. LITERALLY you have done NOTHING in this life to earn the respect of your fellows; it has all been a complete fuck-up on every level -- diplomatic, bureaucratic, and FUNDAMENTALLY in the consistency of your obvious motives with your spoken ethics.

SO RETURN TO ME MY SUITCASE. I will not ask you, with such consideration, again. I alone of the three of us remained entirely blameless and transparent and you have only acted as a leech. Cease to displace your guilt upon me now that you are found out. And by the way: I know for a FACT that you had TWO SOFAS. I probably had to CLEAN one of them, bitch.

Dm.A.A.

Tale of Cleansing:

You don’t think I’ve figured you out all ready?
At first I thought that may be it was just an attack upon my pride. But then I simply let my mind rest. It is all ways exhausted after I spend any time around you. You drain its energy, and rarely do I get it back. And promptly it becomes drained again!
It was not my PRIDE that you attacked, but simply my skepticism. In turn, my SKEPTICISM is an attack upon YOUR pride, apparently, and wherefore except that you mean to supplant my REASONING and your ego is bruised when you fail? At that point, your passive aggression turns to an uncontrolled, undisciplined outburst. And so it becomes obvious.
The most ridiculous of your devices is the attempt to employ GUILT. THIS is the reason that I can never pardon you. You pretend towards the victimhood of your own victims, so that they project their own self-image as victim upon YOU! This theft is impermissible. You exploit the conscience of your hosts in such a way that were I less clever or more compassionate I would do something TRULY worthy of Shame just to fight off a Guilt that is entirely secondary to reality!
So think not to condemn me ever again. It is obvious that such a game of zero-sum as you portray the World to be is little more than a parasite’s worldview, and that your fruitless leveling is simply part of the EROSION that is your function to perpetuate.
You do not build. You only destroy.

I KNOW that Alanna never slept again with Kresten.
You expect me to believe otherwise, even as you admitted to self-identification with a narcissistic manipulator? Even as your own PSYCHE STANDS AS EVIDENCE to the fact that you had FRAMED SOME ONE? And who might that be, if not a BLONDE WOMAN who was in pursuit of the TRUTH and in whom you had all ways SEEN YOURSELF and UPON WHOM you had chosen to displace your OWN WEAKNESSES?
Enough.
I shall not do Alanna any more harm by believing your story.

And you will sleep in the bed you made.
I only let you sleep in the bed my parents made for you ONCE.
That was enough to produce my vision. And apparently I was not alone visited. I had managed to EXTRACT the Truth from you, for you in your narcissistic egoism had not yet even REALISED what that dream said of your OWN CONSCIENCE.

You dealt a death-blow unto your SELF when your anger betrayed you, just as it had in the Dream! And one would think that you would heed a last, DESPERATE Warning from the very person that you had NOT to piss off, for he was IN THE DREAM ITSELF your only refuge!

But such is the severity of your egoism.
Hence I cannot allow it any more.

Your anger betrayed you when you let it justify the LIE for which you can never provide evidence. Were there any SEMBLANCE of conceivable truth in that lie, it does not belong to you. Your devices are unfit for it.
How can you be so stupid as to say that you were ANGRY and that that was why you lied to me? And then you EXPECT me to believe you that you had been JUSTIFIED in lying? That you’d told the TRUTH, in fact?
You are no Joker. You are not a criminal mastermind. You are but a court fool.
This insults my very Sanity. This insults REASON its self.
You ADMITTED to the lie. You ADMITTED that you had no evidence. And you ADMITTED that your motive was both passionate and banal: Anger at Insulted Pride. I’d made you look bad in front of your friends.
Demand no more generosity from me. Not even by contradicting what I know all ready of you.
You chose to slander Alanna just because you wanted me to feel as angry as YOU were.
Just as you’d chosen to BLAME her for your OWN guilt.
And so you had done to me.
And to D. In your dream.

Sleep in your own bed now.


Dm.A.A.

KEEPING UP WITH THE END TIMES.: INTRO and CHAPTERS I-II.


KEEPING UP WITH THE END TIMES.

Philosophy is the mind’s antidote against manipulation.
Theology serves as the same antidote, but for the SOUL.

INTRODUCTION: THE BODIES OF MASSACRED TREES.



Every day nowadays I’ll wake up to the sound of the most awful noise. It sounds like some beast from an other dimension moaning and groaning: like a wheezing monster but electronic, wailing at irregular intervals. Its voice colours what few dreams I can remember upon waking, and it continues to follow me as I take my dog out on his mo(u)rning walk. And I know what it is, as I witness the wreckage it has left in its wake:
It’s the Mexicans. To be specific: the ones who wave abjectly at me, smiling feebly but with self-satisfied enthusiasm, as I carry Pumpkin home in the heat. These are the “salt of the earth”, the hard-working people that Donald Trump uses as his fencepost to hide behind the liberal onslaught of criticism. You see: a rational businessman like Donald cannot be troubled with such absurd superstitions such as “race” and “racism”, so to pacify his aggressors he insists that he just absolutely LOVES Mexican Americans; he just dislikes the few who are rapists and drug pushers.
Unfortunately for them, there is still ONE pale-faced man who hates them in this neighbourhood. And that is me. But I hate them not for the reasons ascribed to Donald Trump, reasons which cannot exist because they are so insensible, and the only way that one can even make such an accusation is to be possessed of the same neurosis, for what else then would “racist” mean? What does “racist” constitute? I know not. It takes one to know one(, I suppose).
No: my reasons are precisely those that the Donald uses as his Trump Card (heh.): That they are HARD-WORKING AMERICANS. There was a time that “working for the MAN” (In THIS generation, it’s easy to see who the “man” is, considering both the notorious “1%” statistic and the fact that our President of the Executive Branch is a Corporate Executive*) was deplored by the community. The only reason that such a sentiment faded over the past fifty years is that the counter-culture was so PASSIVE in all that it did. Only a few radicals managed to preserve their memory in the collective mind of generation after generation of L.S.D. consumers. Most of the sages of the Hippie Generation were forgotten. Charles Reich wrote a book once on the three stages in the development of the American Psyche: We began as rugged individualists, became bureaucratic neo-Liberals in a Kafkaesque Corporate State, and finally completed our metamorphosis at the turn of the nineteen-sixties.
So what went wrong? Did we relapse?



*Mussolini said that Fascism is properly described as a merger of Corporate and State Power.

On the contrary: we came down from the high. Our consciousness as a nation SPIKED during the nineteen-sixties, and ever since then it has suffered a radical decline. We did not fall BACKWARDS into our old ways, though our politicians still try to sell those ways unto us. (Bernie was alone of all the candidates in 2016 to represent the Hippie Dream; Ms. Clinton was a total personification of bureaucratic liberalism and Mr. Trump is of course the rugged individualist who wants to bring us back to the OLD DAYS.) We fell FORWARDS, from that precarious peak, into what I call the AGE OF COMPLACENCY. Since the hippies allowed their children to do whatever they wanted, (the expression “militant hippie” became an oxymoron) given that most of those children probably never knew their fathers, the Corporate State survived and learned to USE the very instruments of the counter-culture – drugs and liberal rhetoric – to buy the loyalty of Generation X.
BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH MEXICANS, YOU MIGHT ASK?
Every day I hear self-righteous neo-liberals championing the rights of human causes, be it Syrian or “Queer”. (one would do well to remember that these two groups, left to their own devices, would probably be irreconcilable; a tolerant* Syrian is a Syrian-American, and that we are as eager to convert them both abroad and at home to Our Cause as THEY are to enjoy Our Resources does not make us any less imperialistic and stupid.)

*Keep in mind that this is to the Syrians’ credit. As G.K. Chesteron said: Tolerance is the virtue of a man without convictions.

BUT WHAT ABOUT HARAMBE??




CHAPTER ONE: THE DEATH OF A GORILLA WARRIOR.



An ape was shot to death for the crime of being EXACTLY WHERE HE NEEDED TO BE (where he was PUT, technically, for our Education and our Entertainment: The ZOO.), which all so was the WRONG PLACE AT THE WRONG TIME, all because of the human-centred PARANOIA of a trigger-happy Zookeeper.
I had to stifle my disgust as I walked through my neighbourhood, a middle-class suburb that had become emaciated of its imported vegetation (as though San Diego had not enough DESERT) and littered with the seemingly bloody stumps of its gorgeous trees. As Treebeard had said: many of these trees were my friends. I had climbed them, hidden behind them, given them names and yes: hugged them. Don’t knock it until you try it.
And all the while I marveled at Saruman’s way with words. For there was no RIOT or PROTEST in defense of our innocent cousin Harambe. Our PRIDE in our HUMANITY had isolated ourselves successfully from such creatures, to such a degree that we could even think to justify ourselves against our captives in the self-defense of our children.
And I do not use “PRIDE” incidentally…

There was a friend of mine who had a cyst on his brain which was ostensibly the result of having taken a bad vaccine. He had grown up a social justice advocate, a minority of a minority in a society whose principle [sic] concerns were the accommodation of gangsters and sexual deviants. So when I received word from him about stopping the violence in Florida, I only wondered: Was Harambe in Florida? Funny. I thought it was Cincinatti.
But alas! Harambe had all ready been forgotten, doomed to surface in later years as one of a number of gorilla memes. (Not to be confused with “guerilla memes”, as in guerilla warfare.) For now the nation had a tragedy that we could ALL agree upon: a considerable group of sodomites were shot to death at a locale that they had all VOLUNTARILY chosen to frequent with the intent of CELEBRATING AND PERPETUATING SODOMY.
This was not perpetrated by a proprietor of the establishment. Nor were they kept captive there for OUR heterosexual amusement.
Though that would have been hot.
They were not attacking our infant children. Though the argument can be made that they were part of a movement that, via a series of Kafkaesque turns, supported the right for a woman to commit infanticide. (I shall elaborate upon that later.)
Secretly my heart was happy. FINALLY: human beings would pay for their vanity in how they treat non-humans. Perhaps THIS bold and daring act of war upon the Emotivist Agenda (again: I’ll explain later; there are only so many times I can digress and only so many tracks to any one mind) would finally send a message. The message: LOOK WHAT WE HAVE BROUGHT UPON OURSELVES. PRAISE HARAMBE, LORD OF THE APES!!
But alas. Truth was thwarted again.
Having had a crush on her for some time since I heard a remix of her song with Lil Wayne, I decided to pay visit to the Google replica of a certain R & B and pop singer. I found a post that decried the “evil” of “some people”. And I only wondered, as any sensible person would: does she mean to suggest that the shooters were evil? Or the homosexuals?
I never learned.



I suppose that it would seem barbaric to suggest that I identify more with apes than with bears. After all: bears were the first animal to be worshipped. But APES are quite probably our very own kin!
My defense is: who are you to claim the assassination of an APE to be a matter of dispute, subject to the Ethic of Ambiguity (PATIENCE: All shall be explained. Don’t you trust me?) in regards to the trigger-puller, but the murder of a BEAR (and other homosexuals) as Absolute? It all ways bugged me to see people who would seamlessly transition from Absolute to Relative statements, in defiance of logic, but to the applause of their self-interested and dim-witted peers. I would later find the words for such court fools and their equally foolish audience: MANIPULATORS.
SOMEHOW the world had been duped to trivialize Harambe’s death even MORE after the faggots were burned. And it became obvious to me where the offense emanated from. It is the source of all offense, for it is at the root of all neurotic egoism. That alone was attacked, not the intrinsic integrity of life. And this attitude that was bruised has all ways been regarded as sin, by all the world’s religions, for it was in fact in no way distinct from its corollary, Shame:



PRIDE.

CHAPTER TWO: WHAT THIS HAS TO DO WITH MEXICANS.
You might have all ready figured it out.
The context clues should have stuck out to your eyes as though they were sticks jammed in through your sockets.
But perhaps the logs in your eyes make it hard to see past the sawdust in mine.

I will dispense with the patronizing rhetorical questions and cut to the chase:
The “hard-working” Mexican Americans who Donald Trump praises to win over the Left are participating the brutal assassination of trees: great spirits that have been made captive in the way that Harambe was: for our human-centred amusement.

Neither neo-liberals nor neo-conservatives care about this. Neo-conservatives would go so far as to lay ruin to the world’s forests just as soon as we can artificially synthesize enough oxygen without the help of the trees.
And the neo-liberals are probably going to be the ones to fund this artificial synthesis, just as soon as they can lessen our carbon dioxide emissions. See: they don’t want to give the plants some thing to breathe EITHER.

(You’ll have to pardon me though as I return to my pedantic ways:)

But WHY DO TREES REALLY MATTER?



There once lived a visual poet named Vincent van Gogh. This painter was imprisoned for his visionary deviance at a sanitarium in France, where he painted the painting that we now call Starry, Starry Night. When asked about why the trees in the painting looked like monoliths in the Tomb of King Ramses, Vince replied simply that one day the trees would reach the heavens. He believed that all EARTHLY things have a teleological PURPOSE that lends an INTRINSIC VALUE to their lives, justifying our maternal, nurturing sympathies: and that is to reach the HEAVENS.
He was not alone in this sentiment.




As recently as in the nineteen-nineties A.D, Britons organized to protest the barbaric murder of trees by corporations on their continent. The footage can still be found on YouTube, under the guise of various I.D.M. artists.


Not bad for a bunch of redcoats, eh?

Trees, to human beings, have all ways been more than just the lungs of this planet. They were friends, lodgings, support systems both physically and emotionally. As a Thou, rather than as an It, a tree is like an other person. And a person is more than just a means to an end.

JUST FOR EXAMPLE:

But most importantly perhaps is that trees REPRESENT some thing, even in the mode of Objectivity (as “Things”) as opposed to Relationship (as People). And that is what van Gogh explained: The striving for all EARTHLY things to reach the HEAVENS. Without this goal life becomes meaningless, and therefore it is expendable, and the instinct to survive turns in on its self under the weight of the civilized mind that notes the futility of such survival even as a success. So the will to survive becomes either suicidal self-destruction, misguided rage, or – worst of all – the seeds of Fascism, whereby a group perpetuates its survival through a collective suicide on the individual level, surrendering all individuality to the WILL OF THE COLLECTIVE, a collective that is INCOMPLETE because it is at the EXPENSE of an OUT-GROUP that is presumed (often rightly) to be fighting to perpetuate ITS OWN survival-as-group.

TIMBER. How we’ve fallen…



Dm.A.A.

Monday, April 24, 2017

Letter to Tony:

An Other Public Letter:
Growing up we learned how to handle bullies: to remember that, deep down inside, they were in fact inferior. They did not simple “suffer from feelings of inferiority”; they WERE inferior, if only because of how they chose to externalize those feelings.
Ever since I met you, you have gone out of your way, it seems, to externalize your own feelings of inferiority. You have called me egotistical, narcissistic, unspiritual (“not OF the Spirit”), and, above all: a bully.
I did not come to you. YOU came to ME, telling me about how I was supposed to live my life.
In turn I taught you how to live yours, but only to the degree that it might affect me. My integrity was in what you called “selfishness” in me: that I was only interested to the degree that it might affect me.
Yet in fact I was speaking on behalf of the General Collective.
I was simply loth to overstep the critical boundary that segregated what I KNEW from what I might IMAGINE. Though my imagination is in fact quite strong and very potent.
You remind me of the kids on the playground who would beat kids over their own heads with the victims’ arms, and all the while they would chant: “Why are you hitting yourself?”
This was what happened when you repeatedly abused me by calling me “a dick”. It was YOU in fact at that very moment that were doing that. And I could sense your aggression coming earlier, so do not think that you could hide it. It is pathetic. I will not be blamed by taking action against it the moment that I saw it. I could not really believe it when you started talking to your departed Mother about how I was “bullying” you. I had known you to be CRUEL, but I did not think you would taunt me by pretending towards my own victimhood in some childish mockery.
After all: it was OUR lives that you had endangered when you chose to drive recklessly.
Do not imagine that you are unaccountable to your passengers. In fact: they are the ONLY authority that you should listen to whilst in the car. If that is too daunting to reconcile with all of the other complications that being a competent driver require, then may be you should stop driving. Have the humility to renounce that privilege, as I did, and I will speak for every one in saying I feel safer.
[We do not “owe” you for the “luxury” of your chaffeurship. If what we owe to you is the capacity to do the task poorly, then you owe US for having offered so poor a service in exchange for our time and safety. (Get over yourself.)]
I never set out to make you feel one way or an other. I do not abuse cleverness in such a fashion. I simply state what I see. I cannot be held accountable for how it “comes out”. That it is empirically sound and factual is sufficient.
I do not abuse cleverness as you do. I do not demand equality by dragging people down to my dysfunctional level. I need not cleverness to such a degree. My work ethic suffices. There is a deep, bodily wisdom in things which grow slowly. It allows words to maintain their kinship with deeds.
It is a virtue of the Earth.
You have since then been in one crash that was total to that same vehicle. You spend hours, each month it would seem, (and the seeming is of course more important than the being, for what does it say that those were hours of MY time that I had not intended to spend in that fashion?) working on getting your car repaired. You do none of your own repairs. And many times you have threatened to crash it in a rage, as though that made a point.
So even were I a “dick”, it would be negligible in context. To say that it was YOU that was THE dick, in fact, is generous to you. I suggest you take it.
DMYTRI.

DM.A.A.

Letter to Ketchup:

You once said to me that I did not own people and their feelings.
Such lies I would expect of a parasite who tries to fool his host into believing the host to be the parasite.
I DO own people. And their feelings.
Every bit as much as you claim ownership of any thing other fleeting, temporary thing.
As much as YOU own them.
For they are not your EXCLUSIVE property.
And they are not their OWN exclusive property.
And nor do they belong to no one.
They belong to every one.
The rest is simply a measure of responsibility.
She was my responsibility. Not yours.
She came to me, and for a reason.
And I never failed in that duty.
My only error was to think that I could trust YOU to be alone with her.
Believing you would sooner slit your wrists than to come between your friends and what they want.
That you would purge yourself of all thoughts and feelings that could produce such a world.
That you would sooner drown yourself than to willingly and willfully benefit at any other man’s expense.
Ever.
Unless that man lost his personhood by some similar act.
That you would have the HONOUR to never associate again with that faceless man.
And that there would be no confusion:
That there could never be a conflict of interests between you and those whom you christened Your (Few) Friends.
There could only be a conflict of opinion, with regards to the Big Questions whose answers we all sought TOGETHER.
And that you would just as soon allow THEM to decide as you would bear the responsibility alone.
And that if you saw them taking steps, boldly and confidently, in a new direction, you could never stand in their way.
You have failed.
So now she no longer belongs to you.
And never will again.
And when you thought that she belonged to you exclusively, that very moment you lost her.
For I will not have my innocence wasted on a world wherein it is possible for one to benefit whilst an other suffers.
Such is a parasite’s world.
It is YOUR world.
And I will ensure that she shall never see it again.
In fact:
She has promised me, with all the fervor of a dying woman, not to.


Dm.A.A.