Thursday, April 18, 2013

Peter Lasagna.


Peter Lasagna had the makings of a good cultist. His house was located atop an obscure mountain in the midst of a range that seemed to border and lend relief to a wide expanse of fields set aside particularly for vague farmers that never emerged. Only ten minutes of driving past the woods lining the outskirts of these ranches would bring one into the relative shelter of the city of Vista, which was one place that one never wanted to be in after a certain hour. If all California cities had a density in the air that gave the very atmosphere the character of a hangover, Vista’s was an angry drunk, and there was a nervous texture that seemed to sprout from its cement floor, fueled by cocaine.

 

            Peter Lasagna was a smart kid.

            He had even made it to the University of California at Santa Cruz.

            In his second year, I think, he got expelled. I heard the story recounted from Alan the guitarist.

            Purportedly, Peter had left his dorm building that day with a camera in his hand, actively having begun filming, already, everything in sight.

            I know not what had become of the footage.

            One of the topics, however, that had particularly pleased Peter was, apparently, a particular woman whom he had met that day on the campus. She had been sitting innocently on a bench.

            According to Peter, (according to Alan) he had not done anything overtly inappropriate to upset her and to thus warrant the sex offense charge that she would go on to file against him in the aftermath of the events. Suffice to say, however, as Alan recounted groggily in a placid, darkened kitchen nearing midnight, Peter’s footage would, if it was still existent, a fact that Alan almost laughingly expressed uncertainty towards, show a greater interest in the girl’s bottom than in her personality.

 

            If that encounter alone had sealed the doom of Peter’s academic career at UCSC, however, he had made ample use of his remaining hours of freedom, if not sanctity, on campus.

            Encountering another woman of apparently equal attractiveness but surpassing familiarity, Peter invited her back to accompany him in his dormitory. His room mate, by his fortuitous absence, did not interfere with the sexual encounter that ensued.

            As Peter explored her, he found himself, to his infinite alarm, unaffected by the experience. Distant and stunted, he withdrew.

            This had been the moment that the lady entered into a catatonic state, as Alan speculated. In great disrepair and thoroughly unprepared, Peter hid her under the bed in his dormitory, for her protection.

 

As night deepened, young men tapered off into sleep, attention surrendering consciousness. Either the lack of attention or the loneliness, as Alan told me whilst I took a confident sip of Tecate, upset Peter, and it added to his discontentment at having returned to the dorm room, some indefinite time later, to find it deserted.

            He sought to remedy this, first, by throwing open the window by virtue of which his chamber looked out over the courtyard and onto the skyline. His room mate, he must have surmised, had yet to pay a visit to the room.

            It was at that approximate time of extreme morning that students at the University of California at Santa Cruz reported having been awoken by the screaming of a mad young man threatening to throw himself out of the –th story window.

It had taken several people to fetch him from his precarious station.

They had succeeded in pinning Peter Lasagna to the floor of his dorm temporarily before he riggled, aggressively, to a kind of freedom that led him straight down the stairs, where he met police officers looking for him.

 

His room mate had, upon returning to the dorm room, found the girl, with terrifyingly withdrawn eyes, lying hidden under his roommate’s bed.

Horrified, he called the police.

 

Two men were arrested and expelled that night from the University of California at Santa Cruz: Peter Lasagna and his room mate. The latter had supplied, earlier that day, the mushrooms.

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