H!RHODEZA:

We know that the Path of Relationship is the Highest Road. One must never act prematurely upon any sort of erotic impulse; it is much too arrogant to presume upon one’s own liking, and it is even more arrogant to the presume upon the other’s. If I like a girl, I’m going to get to know her first. Perhaps I’ll be around more often. Perhaps I’ll flirt with everyone EXCEPT for her, so only she will see, or otherwise I’ll flirt with her a little more than with anyone else. Eventually, I may take a more decisive action, given a few weeks or so, and then as I work up the way to her heart, I can exercise more liberties and rights, in accordance with the System, as I see it through the example set by Others. Considering that “creep” is simply a euphemism for narcissism, I know better than to confuse it for a steady ascent, for that is precisely what Love is: it is patient; it is kind. The alternative would alienate anyone. To ask someone out within a month of meeting is practically to say: “Either you are expendable, or I feel entitled to you all ready.”

Honestly: I don’t think there’s anything wrong with how I talk to women. There’s nothing wrong with my hierarchy of values. You said it yourself: no one wants to get involved with someone who has ulterior motives. Well: there wouldn’t be anything ulterior about them unless they were either very base or one were trying to cheat the system to get to the top. The way I see people behave, in media and on the streets, is so disturbing that I don’t think I would even WANT for it to work for me. If the girls here are so wishy-washy that they need to be told what to want, overtly and directly, I’m not the guy to tell them. If, however, I can’t make friends without them questioning my motives, then they’re not worth my friendship OR my lust. It drives me crazy that a girl would prefer someone narcissistic and impulsive like Kresten to someone disciplined and principled like me. And to bear the blame of being the burden? Fuck no. If he consumes people, he gets no points for walking away from their remains. That’s MY mess to clean up now, and I get the credit for it. End of story. If I feel entitled to people, it’s because I’ve earned it, and if they would sooner prefer to be consumed by someone who isn’t even around for them when they need it, then they’re just consumers too, with neither class nor character. It’s psychoanalytically proven; some things never change. It’s not like it doesn’t take a LOT of self-entitlement to just use people like that, especially if you know you’ll get your fix sooner or later in this God-forsaken desert. At least I’m doing it the proper way, and there is NOTHING creepy about that. Anyone who thinks it through will see that. I don’t know why they don’t, and I don’t care anymore. It alarms me that it ever even came up. They know what I want, so why would they even suggest there’s something wrong with it? The arrogance is killing me. And I’m done shouldering the blame for it when I simply know better. Mine is a purer love. I know now not to change myself, but the World. I don’t have to change you. Just to have faith that you are better than the World. You’ve earned that. The truest freedom does not REQUIRE the bourgeois privilege of mutuality or consent. Anyone can be your Muse; to require a formality only reveals something much more base, conniving, evil and possessive. It’s a birth right to flirt with anyone; love needs no warrant. You’ve made it clear that warrants do not rule it; why did it take so long for me to SEE that?! There’s nothing left for me to envy, and there never was. This is the Year 2020; all signs point here. Perhaps I’m not behind my times at all; most people are just behind me. Sincerity is my God now.

Sincerely,

Dm.