Okay,
since you are so smart and attentive, let me fill in the details you have
missed:
1. When I purchased Hulu, it was
with the intent of watching films made by David Lynch.
2. My last two purchases on iTunes
were all so films by David Lynch.
3. David Lynch’s birthday is on
January 20th.
4.
One
of my Lyft drivers on September 27th had a birthday on January 21st.
5.
The
following driver that I had, who took me to Escondido, and no further, has a
birthday on January 22nd.
6.
I
did not request these drivers. They were Chosen For Me.
7.
The
latter of the two of them was not only an avid fan of the same director but all
so had the same Myers-Briggs Personality Type as do I, David Lynch, J.K.
Rowling, and the chief protagonist of the only other show I’ve ever watched on
Hulu, which was the X-Files.
8.
People
of my personality type are statistically among the least likely to enjoy their
jobs. I have enjoyed my job until recently, when instead of being rewarded for
the long hours I spent cleaning, at the expense of both my health and
professional development, I was chastised by my boss for taking too long to do
a job that was at once one of the most difficult jobs in the kitchen and one of
the least prestigious and well-paid.
9.
Upon
visiting the Game Store on Grand Avenue recently I spent no more than
twenty-five cents and within moments of arrival met someone who offered me a
job in my specific profession, commending me for my professionalism after
speaking with me for what I approximate to have been at least half an hour.
10. I have intended to purchase a
camera and a microphone for several months now. Each time, the expense of
simply being able to return to work was such that I could not afford the
investment.
11. I met two filmmakers as the
result of my work injury, one of whom is the proprietor of Gianni’s Pizza,
which I did not hesitate to treat you to upon receipt of my first check, and
the other of whom was a customer from my first visit. This same customer,
having sent me a screenplay that has been under development for seven years,
read my review of only the first Act, and he promptly told me that I should be
in the Industry. He has all so worked on a set with Al Pacino, who is one of my
favourite actors.
12. After the proprietor of Gianni’s
sent me an e-mail detailing the equipment that he uses for his own films, I
calculated that the cheapest means of meeting these criteria would require a
budget of 480.48. Given the neatness of this number, there can be no question
that my researched was Well Informed. However, I did not rush to make the
purchase, preferring to do some supplementary research firsthand about the
proper use of such devices. I have all so forestalled a meeting with the
proprietor of Gianni’s, chiefly because I have been careful, under your
extremely excessive and hitherto uninformed supervision, to use the Lyft
service except when searching for work, returning from work, or collecting a
sum from work.
13. My work habits have convinced
those coworkers that I’ve worked alongside most frequently that I was not doing
my job for the money. I have been loyal to the company despite the fact that I
suffered my first injury under the supervision of an old man who has since been
fired for harassing me, and I spent the better part of three months expecting
another injury. I only learned that he was fired very recently, and shortly
after I was told that paying me full-time for all these closing shifts was
unfeasible.
14. I have only spent my money on
transportation, food, and artwork in the three fields that I am pursuing a
career in, two of which I have been a straight-A student in this year, though
work has set me back.
15. I have only asked money from you
when I was broke and far away. AT that time I had ensured that my expenditure
would be in every one’s best interests.
16. I have had Maria’s nineteenth
birthday gift in storage for approximately two weeks all ready, even though
most of the things I buy for the both of us she seems to ignore.
17. It was not until one of TWO of
my coworkers told me that my life was worth more than my job that I began to stand
up for myself. I did not believe it previously, and my decision to change jobs
was corroborated by three people, despite constant encouragement and praise from
most of my remaining coworkers.
18. You took money from my account
only after I had made my most expensive purchase. I had precisely enough money
left in my account to consummate my investment, leaving enough for food alone.
I calculated an average budget for myself within hours of receiving my money.
19. The only debt that I could
possibly recognize is the debt that the various artists I’ve mentioned owe to
one an other and to common sources, which is the only debt that I owe to
anyone. This includes the debt that the creator of the X-Files owes to David
Lynch. This is the only debt I feel day in and day out. I owe nothing else.
20. You have not given me the
slightest accounting for your expenses. You can neither promise me that they
will make such rational sense as mine do, on multiple levels of consistency,
some premeditated and others ordained as though by a Greater Intelligence, nor
can you present evidence for me that your spending up until this point has met
the same Universal, Rational Standard. You have only treated me with the same
condescension as have the rest of my abusers, holding me accountable to logic
and work ethic yet condemning me for those situations when both my logic and my
work ethic have superseded yours. It was established, when I had my last
nervous breakdown, the same day that my boss assured me (wrongly and
wrongfully) that I was in a friendly environment, instructing me to heed the
age and wisdom of the same man who would go on to harass me, that I work longer
hours than you do, at a more demanding job, and with a greater caring and
self-sacrifice than you do. It is all so obvious to me that I get paid
considerably less for my time than you do, and any chance I have of improving
this debilitating station in life is superseded by the work itself, which even
then is constantly criticized with disdain. My boss loses his temper with me
because I make things “too difficult” for myself, even when I do so only to
avoid making it difficult for others in the manner that it has been made
difficult for me. If ever there was evidence to my mind for the adage that
property is theft, this is it, even though I’ve even argued with all of my
friends on the Far Left, some of whom I’ve known for over a decade, that to work
is a blessing. I can no longer postpone the recognition that I’ve been taken advantage
of. Now perhaps you understand why I will not deny the fact that you have
stolen from me.
21. My only solace is in that the
number of the overdraft (8.41) retains only those digits that occurred in the
price of the camera and most of the digits that occurred in what would have
been my total budget for film equipment. However, even you admit that that
overdraft was only a fluke on your part.
Dmytri.
