An Open Letter to my "Father": "This File Number[s] 1313 Words."

Okay, since you are so smart and attentive, let me fill in the details you have missed:

1.    When I purchased Hulu, it was with the intent of watching films made by David Lynch.

2.    My last two purchases on iTunes were all so films by David Lynch.

3.    David Lynch’s birthday is on January 20^th.

4.    One of my Lyft drivers on September 27^th had a birthday on January 21^st.

5.    The following driver that I had, who took me to Escondido, and no further, has a birthday on January 22^nd.

6.    I did not request these drivers. They were Chosen For Me.

7.    The latter of the two of them was not only an avid fan of the same director but all so had the same Myers-Briggs Personality Type as do I, David Lynch, J.K. Rowling, and the chief protagonist of the only other show I’ve ever watched on Hulu, which was the X-Files.

8.    People of my personality type are statistically among the least likely to enjoy their jobs. I have enjoyed my job until recently, when instead of being rewarded for the long hours I spent cleaning, at the expense of both my health and professional development, I was chastised by my boss for taking too long to do a job that was at once one of the most difficult jobs in the kitchen and one of the least prestigious and well-paid.

9.    Upon visiting the Game Store on Grand Avenue recently I spent no more than twenty-five cents and within moments of arrival met someone who offered me a job in my specific profession, commending me for my professionalism after speaking with me for what I approximate to have been at least half an hour.

10. I have intended to purchase a camera and a microphone for several months now. Each time, the expense of simply being able to return to work was such that I could not afford the investment.

11. I met two filmmakers as the result of my work injury, one of whom is the proprietor of Gianni’s Pizza, which I did not hesitate to treat you to upon receipt of my first check, and the other of whom was a customer from my first visit. This same customer, having sent me a screenplay that has been under development for seven years, read my review of only the first Act, and he promptly told me that I should be in the Industry. He has all so worked on a set with Al Pacino, who is one of my favourite actors.

12. After the proprietor of Gianni’s sent me an e-mail detailing the equipment that he uses for his own films, I calculated that the cheapest means of meeting these criteria would require a budget of 480.48. Given the neatness of this number, there can be no question that my researched was Well Informed. However, I did not rush to make the purchase, preferring to do some supplementary research firsthand about the proper use of such devices. I have all so forestalled a meeting with the proprietor of Gianni’s, chiefly because I have been careful, under your extremely excessive and hitherto uninformed supervision, to use the Lyft service except when searching for work, returning from work, or collecting a sum from work.

13. My work habits have convinced those coworkers that I’ve worked alongside most frequently that I was not doing my job for the money. I have been loyal to the company despite the fact that I suffered my first injury under the supervision of an old man who has since been fired for harassing me, and I spent the better part of three months expecting another injury. I only learned that he was fired very recently, and shortly after I was told that paying me full-time for all these closing shifts was unfeasible.

14. I have only spent my money on transportation, food, and artwork in the three fields that I am pursuing a career in, two of which I have been a straight-A student in this year, though work has set me back.

15. I have only asked money from you when I was broke and far away. AT that time I had ensured that my expenditure would be in every one’s best interests.

16. I have had Maria’s nineteenth birthday gift in storage for approximately two weeks all ready, even though most of the things I buy for the both of us she seems to ignore.

17. It was not until one of TWO of my coworkers told me that my life was worth more than my job that I began to stand up for myself. I did not believe it previously, and my decision to change jobs was corroborated by three people, despite constant encouragement and praise from most of my remaining coworkers.

18. You took money from my account only after I had made my most expensive purchase. I had precisely enough money left in my account to consummate my investment, leaving enough for food alone. I calculated an average budget for myself within hours of receiving my money.

19. The only debt that I could possibly recognize is the debt that the various artists I’ve mentioned owe to one an other and to common sources, which is the only debt that I owe to anyone. This includes the debt that the creator of the X-Files owes to David Lynch. This is the only debt I feel day in and day out. I owe nothing else.

20. You have not given me the slightest accounting for your expenses. You can neither promise me that they will make such rational sense as mine do, on multiple levels of consistency, some premeditated and others ordained as though by a Greater Intelligence, nor can you present evidence for me that your spending up until this point has met the same Universal, Rational Standard. You have only treated me with the same condescension as have the rest of my abusers, holding me accountable to logic and work ethic yet condemning me for those situations when both my logic and my work ethic have superseded yours. It was established, when I had my last nervous breakdown, the same day that my boss assured me (wrongly and wrongfully) that I was in a friendly environment, instructing me to heed the age and wisdom of the same man who would go on to harass me, that I work longer hours than you do, at a more demanding job, and with a greater caring and self-sacrifice than you do. It is all so obvious to me that I get paid considerably less for my time than you do, and any chance I have of improving this debilitating station in life is superseded by the work itself, which even then is constantly criticized with disdain. My boss loses his temper with me because I make things “too difficult” for myself, even when I do so only to avoid making it difficult for others in the manner that it has been made difficult for me. If ever there was evidence to my mind for the adage that property is theft, this is it, even though I’ve even argued with all of my friends on the Far Left, some of whom I’ve known for over a decade, that to work is a blessing. I can no longer postpone the recognition that I’ve been taken advantage of. Now perhaps you understand why I will not deny the fact that you have stolen from me.

21. My only solace is in that the number of the overdraft (8.41) retains only those digits that occurred in the price of the camera and most of the digits that occurred in what would have been my total budget for film equipment. However, even you admit that that overdraft was only a fluke on your part.

Dmytri.