FINALE:

I have re-read

Alanna McLeod's last few letters to me.

I had to dive into my Soul again. Reviewing and sharing my most intimate (but publically relevant) letters TO her.

You could not write like her if you tried.

No one could.

Only a loving hand could have enscribed it.

A hand I fell for for a Divine Reason.

You shall never besmirch it.

It shall all ways belong to me.

No one can take it from me.

Kresten never did.

Things manifest their essence. I can spot falsity in even the most clever contrivances.

There were things Alanna knew that no one else did. She did not merely mirror me. She did not simply affirm my biases. I had no biases. I had no conscious knowledge of these things. They simply rested in the sinews of my Heart, untouched by callous hands.

Only Alanna could have had the delicacy to pluck those heart-strings. Only she ever bothered to. You could never do that. Nor could he.

Nor any one you claim to know.

This is the culmination of my Quest.

That I retain my faith in this maiden.

That I let not the cleverness of egoism and sedated paranoia assuage me.

I know now what happened and why.

I know that I can trust her. It was trust we'd worked to build. You never worked that hard towards that end. Towards any end. I know this. So any thing that you imagine to say that might besmirch it in your favour is but the haze of gossip and paranoia.

It shall not submerge her Light.

There is under the mirroring tendency a metaphysical undercurrent. Only this force can compel the Will to produce such a document that were I to divulge its secrets to you it would burn your eyes.

Rational Man knows not this faith. He is only concerned with the future. All disillusion happens in the future tense. It is a feeble, egoic defense against the vitality of the moment that is ruined the moment it is spoken to the wrong ears. It is they who bastardise it with analogy to some past heartache and trivialize it in a feeble attempt to protect you from the object of their own fears, a fate that can only befall once, for life is ever-changing...

The undercurrent is Love.

You have not known it.

I am sorry.

Dmytri.

Needless to say, I no longer require your services. Alanna is with me and all ways shall be. The Universe brought us together for a Reason. It has its ways. You would be arrogant to presume you could control them. But think not to place this arrogance upon MY conscience. I know now that it was YOU who had tried to force it from its course.

I forgive you. But our project is over. And I will not hesitate to purify you by violent means.

I will accept my book back now. But show your face not here ever again. If Alanna could let me go for this lifetime, then so can you. Unless you would rather admit her spiritual superiority?

Deliver the book by mail to my address.

And I pray you are not so stupid that you've forgotten it all ready.

Dm.A.A.