SETTLEMENT:

Once there was an Island with four colonies upon it. Two were ruled by monarchs; two were ruled by democracies. One of the monarchs was wise whereas the other was a tyrant. So it came to pass that all the members of the wiser kingdom prospered while the slaves of tyranny despaired. And the two remaining colonies simply bore witness.

At first, the two democracies were one. Whenever someone complained, someone said: “We should be more like the Wise Kingdom!!” And then an other intervened, retorting: “At least we are not so bad as the Cruel Tyranny!!”

Finally a vote was cast to divide the democracies. So it came to pass that everyone who wanted to emulate the Wise Monarch wound up in one colony, whereas the rest ended up in an other.

Over time, the latter of the two colonies had managed to become so horrific that even the Tyrant loved to tour it and to laugh, and the subjects of the Tyranny were invited to visit and to feel grateful for their own lot in life.

Meanwhile, the emulators of the Wise Kingdom prospered, seeing such heights that made the Monarchy pale before the democratic colony, so much so that the Wise Monarch found it wise to forbid the subjects of the Kingdom to gain access to the democratic colony, lest they revolt against the Monarchy in envy.

So it came to pass that one day the democratic colonies met again, and they both commended one an other for having reached the limit that they’d used as an example.

Dm.A.A.

V!NCE:

I dreamt that I was the proprietor of a two-story theatre known as the O’Cidre Playhouse. (A reference at once to people from Oceanside [“O’siders”], the Cidrehouse from Chekhov’s play, and in some bizarre, Joycean way, to the Irish People.)

Upon the second floor I often played cards with the players of the Company. Ordinarily I was their ringleader, although today I noticed that I was greeted with a cold, collective glare. The Dealer said he knew that I’d been cheating. I pretended not to know how so: that I’d been playing with a Tarot Deck instead of a French Deck, availing myself of twenty-two trump cards rather than the standard two. I played the Fool and then went home.

Downstairs, my wife greeted me, though not with a loving smile. She had gotten wind, apparently, that I had been cheating on her. She decided to leave me for the man who tipped her off. I begged her to stay for just one drink, but she only grimaced and departed. As I ran after her, stopping at the top of the last, dark staircase (for she had escaped into the Catacombs beneath the building) I discovered that within my hand lay not a bottle of wine but a can of Red Bull.

At this moment the door bell rang. I opened it, trembling but eager for company. It was my wife’s informant. He informed me now that I was found guilty of espionage. My wife had sold out my secrets to the National Security Agency. I reached for the scissors, first to stab him, but he drew his wand. I stepped back, held up my free hand, and with a free hand’s style removed my left ear. I pled with this ear, begging him not to take me away or to turn me into something weird. He simply sighed, as the tip of his wand lit up, replying, “you were never so great of a painter as to try that schtick, Vince.”

Dm.A.A.

HERO and GODDESS: the Rebirth of the Gentleman. (317 words.)

Sometimes the woman makes a man feel more in touch with his feminine side. Then the phenomenon has little to do with the woman herself, and it would have more to do with the man’s Anima: the internal female counterpart to his personality.

At other times the opposite thing happens. The woman receives so fully and completely the projection by the man that he loses all the dignity of the Anima and becomes boorish and insensitive. This is Projection Gone Wrong, and it often ends poorly for all involved.

Yet from time to time a Genuine Masculinity is awoken within the Man, and this is because the Woman is not simply a mirror for his Anima but rather she is loved for her intrinsic Power. At that moment, the Man has encountered the Goddess Archetype. Women pretend that they do not want to be seen as Goddesses, but in fact they crave identification with some form of External Power that is Uniquely Female. This cannot be emulated effectively by Men, so it inspires another tendency within the Hearts of Men: that of the Hero. At this point all boyish tendencies, including those attractive to young girls, are deconstructed, and only the refined Gentleman, vulnerable but courageous, remains. Young women do not know how to handle this sort of Man, because most of them cannot admit to themselves their own capacity to be the Goddess. So they tend instead to covet the uninitiated boy who still toys with his Anima, adorning his girlfriends with it, at times sweet and submissive, at other times harsh and aggressive, but seldom settled in a state of placid equanimity that characterizes the Actualized Male.

With Maturity, all Gentlemen eventually make Peace with the Goddess. Yet it will only happen when she is ready to stop hiding what She Is, and so long as he is willing to continue to venerate it.

Dm.A.A.

VOTAT!ON:

One day, a group of chimpanzees assembled on an Island and decided to form a Democracy. The wisest of the tribe said: “as our first legislation, we should take into consideration the fact that no one likes to feel inferior, and as such a unanimous vote will protect all of our kind from this poor fate, and by so doing we shall impress outsiders with our civility, humanity, and the efficacy of Our System.” But then a second chimpanzee spoke, for he was strongest of will, and he said: “most apes want to feel superior, so let’s do that instead!!” And most of the apes cheered, except for the first to speak. And the first ape rebutted: “You fool!! No man can feel superior without having at least implied that another is inferior.” But then the vote was cast and it proved that most of the chimpanzees preferred to feel superior to a situation wherein all of them were equal. And it was established that the System of Democracy worked.

Dm.A.A.

An Open Letter to my "Father": "This File Number[s] 1313 Words."

Okay, since you are so smart and attentive, let me fill in the details you have missed:

1.    When I purchased Hulu, it was with the intent of watching films made by David Lynch.

2.    My last two purchases on iTunes were all so films by David Lynch.

3.    David Lynch’s birthday is on January 20^th.

4.    One of my Lyft drivers on September 27^th had a birthday on January 21^st.

5.    The following driver that I had, who took me to Escondido, and no further, has a birthday on January 22^nd.

6.    I did not request these drivers. They were Chosen For Me.

7.    The latter of the two of them was not only an avid fan of the same director but all so had the same Myers-Briggs Personality Type as do I, David Lynch, J.K. Rowling, and the chief protagonist of the only other show I’ve ever watched on Hulu, which was the X-Files.

8.    People of my personality type are statistically among the least likely to enjoy their jobs. I have enjoyed my job until recently, when instead of being rewarded for the long hours I spent cleaning, at the expense of both my health and professional development, I was chastised by my boss for taking too long to do a job that was at once one of the most difficult jobs in the kitchen and one of the least prestigious and well-paid.

9.    Upon visiting the Game Store on Grand Avenue recently I spent no more than twenty-five cents and within moments of arrival met someone who offered me a job in my specific profession, commending me for my professionalism after speaking with me for what I approximate to have been at least half an hour.

10. I have intended to purchase a camera and a microphone for several months now. Each time, the expense of simply being able to return to work was such that I could not afford the investment.

11. I met two filmmakers as the result of my work injury, one of whom is the proprietor of Gianni’s Pizza, which I did not hesitate to treat you to upon receipt of my first check, and the other of whom was a customer from my first visit. This same customer, having sent me a screenplay that has been under development for seven years, read my review of only the first Act, and he promptly told me that I should be in the Industry. He has all so worked on a set with Al Pacino, who is one of my favourite actors.

12. After the proprietor of Gianni’s sent me an e-mail detailing the equipment that he uses for his own films, I calculated that the cheapest means of meeting these criteria would require a budget of 480.48. Given the neatness of this number, there can be no question that my researched was Well Informed. However, I did not rush to make the purchase, preferring to do some supplementary research firsthand about the proper use of such devices. I have all so forestalled a meeting with the proprietor of Gianni’s, chiefly because I have been careful, under your extremely excessive and hitherto uninformed supervision, to use the Lyft service except when searching for work, returning from work, or collecting a sum from work.

13. My work habits have convinced those coworkers that I’ve worked alongside most frequently that I was not doing my job for the money. I have been loyal to the company despite the fact that I suffered my first injury under the supervision of an old man who has since been fired for harassing me, and I spent the better part of three months expecting another injury. I only learned that he was fired very recently, and shortly after I was told that paying me full-time for all these closing shifts was unfeasible.

14. I have only spent my money on transportation, food, and artwork in the three fields that I am pursuing a career in, two of which I have been a straight-A student in this year, though work has set me back.

15. I have only asked money from you when I was broke and far away. AT that time I had ensured that my expenditure would be in every one’s best interests.

16. I have had Maria’s nineteenth birthday gift in storage for approximately two weeks all ready, even though most of the things I buy for the both of us she seems to ignore.

17. It was not until one of TWO of my coworkers told me that my life was worth more than my job that I began to stand up for myself. I did not believe it previously, and my decision to change jobs was corroborated by three people, despite constant encouragement and praise from most of my remaining coworkers.

18. You took money from my account only after I had made my most expensive purchase. I had precisely enough money left in my account to consummate my investment, leaving enough for food alone. I calculated an average budget for myself within hours of receiving my money.

19. The only debt that I could possibly recognize is the debt that the various artists I’ve mentioned owe to one an other and to common sources, which is the only debt that I owe to anyone. This includes the debt that the creator of the X-Files owes to David Lynch. This is the only debt I feel day in and day out. I owe nothing else.

20. You have not given me the slightest accounting for your expenses. You can neither promise me that they will make such rational sense as mine do, on multiple levels of consistency, some premeditated and others ordained as though by a Greater Intelligence, nor can you present evidence for me that your spending up until this point has met the same Universal, Rational Standard. You have only treated me with the same condescension as have the rest of my abusers, holding me accountable to logic and work ethic yet condemning me for those situations when both my logic and my work ethic have superseded yours. It was established, when I had my last nervous breakdown, the same day that my boss assured me (wrongly and wrongfully) that I was in a friendly environment, instructing me to heed the age and wisdom of the same man who would go on to harass me, that I work longer hours than you do, at a more demanding job, and with a greater caring and self-sacrifice than you do. It is all so obvious to me that I get paid considerably less for my time than you do, and any chance I have of improving this debilitating station in life is superseded by the work itself, which even then is constantly criticized with disdain. My boss loses his temper with me because I make things “too difficult” for myself, even when I do so only to avoid making it difficult for others in the manner that it has been made difficult for me. If ever there was evidence to my mind for the adage that property is theft, this is it, even though I’ve even argued with all of my friends on the Far Left, some of whom I’ve known for over a decade, that to work is a blessing. I can no longer postpone the recognition that I’ve been taken advantage of. Now perhaps you understand why I will not deny the fact that you have stolen from me.

21. My only solace is in that the number of the overdraft (8.41) retains only those digits that occurred in the price of the camera and most of the digits that occurred in what would have been my total budget for film equipment. However, even you admit that that overdraft was only a fluke on your part.

Dmytri.

R@GUEL:

I am beginning to understand this curse now. I have wondered often why I either can’t find love, or, having found it, must confront its evasion. I am beginning to understand. Poor fate had condemned me to walk this path. Something in my past must be redressed; the Oracles, both Eastern (as in the I Ching) and Western (as in the Tarot) are in agreement that a wrong must be righted. Like Prince Hamlet I must avenge a treacherous deed, yet I’ve never been prepared for such a task. Thankfully I am beginning slowly to come to understand at least the nature of the task the cosmos have put before me, and this alone restores my faith in their intelligence. Love has shown me the face of human goodness; now hatred must guide me in protecting this face from the blemishes of evil. What path lies ahead of me I cannot say for certain. Yet knowing God’s Plan again I need not feel alone, knowing my foes will tremble, as foretold, before That Force that acts through me and that can never be assuaged.

[({Dm.A.A.)}]

L!BRA:

What I want should be your priority because I am a rational man, and as such it follows rationally that I am entitled to a rational outcome for all of my investments and a rational explanation for any shortcomings. Retaining a kinship with all my human fellows, I possess precisely the same needs as they do, and as such I will not tolerate exclusion under absurd auspices. Anyone who would contest this has disrespected me, and those who violate the trust I’ve placed in them must forego all of the fruits of that trust if they behaved out of such disrespect. Furthermore, they will only earn an opportunity to atone if they comply with my will as though their own infractions had never set back my rational plans. It is through no fault of the rational man that certain deviances of interest exist, and any slight against him can never be regarded as a victory in service to All Beings. As such, I retain no further personal shortcoming that would continue to bar me from inclusion in what has been called the Good Life. I release myself from all abusive claims against me and proceed to carry out my Rational Plan, one that can in no mind be confused for a self-interested agenda, for any theoretical self-interest on my part was only posited by agents of a very imminent and destructive self-interest on their own parts. So long as these agents fail to prove to me that they behaved out of mutual interest with mine, but rather abused my rational accommodations towards irrational ends, their accusations are totally devoid of meaning and can be called lies, not because a literal interpretation would be false, but rather because a figurative interpretation that misrepresents the facts, pretending towards just accusation, would be the only interpretation of these words that could pretend to justify the ongoing abuses.

Dm.A.A.