Dream
Journal Twenty-two: GRACE. (a MOUNTAIN over FIRE.)
Last
night was shared, in succession, by two dreams,the one interrupted by waking
near the break of dawn, which was followed promptly by the other.
A
little background: Following a brief but heated altercation with Maria, which
I might have handled more heroically but recovered from more slowly, our
father and mother returned home after several hours had elapsed and told us
that a police search for a criminal in our area was in progress. This had
prompted Maria to invite me to imagine just how scared everyone would be if I
had not been home, and I told her, without turning to face her, not to worry.
In
the first dream, I had been Tom Waits. Like a cinematic piece, the dream began,
I think, with me murdering two police officers, unnoticed at first but bound to
be in a mere matter of time,in a populated area akin to a shopping mall. I must
have passed right by the young, Hispanic, female cop that would inevitably find
out what I had done and spell my doom, as I ambled towards the parking lot with
little hope of saving myself.
The
perspective of the dream changed – again,cinematically – and I was interviewing
Tom.I do not recall who I was, but my identity appeared insubstantial. I had
probably been a passerby.
Tom
explained the background of his life and work. His father had been a gold
miner. One day, he fell downalong shaft and broke bothof his legs*, crippling
him and rendering him unable to climb backout. Because every miner was
forbidden to
* An homage to a scene from ‘the Dark Knight’ that I had found unsettling.
set
foot on another miner’s claim, Tom’s father became,in that instant, a prisoner
of his own mining shaft, sentenced to death as his food dissipated. During the
time he spent down in the hole, he wrote several songs on his acoustic guitar,
which he recorded on a tape deck.*
* Aprobable homage to the lead singer of Social Distortion,who–as I had inform-ed Maria the previous evening,as we listened to a Green Day song which I had properly (and to her delight) identified as a Social D cover—had written most of his early work in prison,.
Shortly
thereafter, I became Elliott Smith, yet I was charged with the same predicament
as Tom had been.As I mused on my own gentleness, my regret and self-pity became
unbearable.
Ultimately,
though, I think that I may have been exonerated, or otherwise escaped.
*The fate of the dream subject seemed to have been shared by Tom, Elliott, and perhaps even the interviewer. They were like a trinity.
The
second dream is more vague, yet the predominant mood had beenone of
Solar,almost extraverted victory over a hostile feminine force,directly
parallelingmy decision, during my Dark Night of the Soul in the
morning, to repress my negative Anima.
Of
the dream details, I can remember a shopping mall,akin to those in Las Vegas,
suggesting that this dream may have been a continuation of the previous night’s
dream, although this may be a tricked played by my memory.
The
essential detail that seemed to represent my victory was a credit card,
particularly the motion of sliding it, which would occur repeatedly. dm.A.A.
"Beauty is only skin deep; do not be taken in by superficial appearances." The I Ching. (Chinese Book of Changes.) |
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