A Life of Games and Diligent Trust:

A Life of Games and Diligent Trust:

A recent post to Crystal Castles’ Facebook is one in a long line of rape allegations against producers and musicians* in this year, rivaling the Death Toll for Aged Rockers (Rest in Peace, Tom Petty.)

[*For the record: I suspect that Nelly is innocent. But what do I know? I’m going down, down baby…]

I am of course immediately reminded of Alanna, who had cited Alice Glass as one of her influences. The resemblances are striking: a young and brilliant but troubled teenager finds herself in a world of covetous men. A typical punk rock story combining sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

Of course: the sex and the drugs, in such swift succession of one an other, are formally rape. Thank God I am a Randian Objectivist!..!

Do not be fooled! The feminist dogma is but one in a long line of Marxist ideas, based in the Dialectic of Marx’s teacher, Hegel:

Thesis: Cocaine.

Antithesis: Intercourse.

Synthesis: Rape.

Obviously, not unlike crack, this argument is a little watered-down.

But it haunts me.

Her departure from Crystal Castles reminds me of my departure from the Suburban Shamans. The reasons were very much the same: to preserve my own health and well-being, that I might work to actualize my initial intent for having started the band: the Health and Well-Being of all, listeners and members alike.

It was with this principle that I was consistent when I invited Alanna to watch what would be our last show. She needed music in order to find solace in a troubled world, internal and external. I had no choice. And that was how she met Taylor.

May the record show that I was consistent. It only took the work of one afternoon for Alanna to persuade me to restore the band with her as a member. My Pride was never an enormous obstacle for her.

Taylor was otherwise.

I suppose that Ethan Kath would be sympathetic towards me. His Statement suggests that he does not in fact blame Alice for leaving. Neither should I, by the same token, be penalized for leaving the Suburban Shamans.

A refusal to restore the band is a penalty; it would not have been a possibility had the band not been dissolved. I was punished for my disloyalty. Even though disloyalty was all around me; mutiny was on the very vessel I had spent years building and had to be the first to evacuate.

I was never the jealous type. I just could not have imagined myself to be undeserving. A mistake had been made, apparently, and the righteous was in the minority. Not only was I in need, having been single for five years. I knew Alanna’s need was great. And Taylor, still recovering from the loss of Bianca, whom he had cheated on, was in no state to provide for Alanna’s needs.

I felt punished. But what do I matter? Ethan is right; we must remember the True Victims.

Alanna is dead. Like a hammer this mantra sets to rest all egoistic distortions. It is next to Music Itself in purity of substance.

She is the victim.

And who supplied her with the drugs and sex, minus the rock and roll? Who was it that endangered her to her own “mental health and substance abuse issues”?

I cannot say for certain.

I know only the allegations.

But as regards Alice Glass and Ethan Kath:

...AND TO DUST.

Now it’s over, You've taken your life
The dark grows thin, And I'm left to hide
I don't regret it, But it’s sad anyway
Now we’re both dead and scared of the black
This life of games and diligent trust
It’s the things we do

Or the things we must
I'm now tired of being cussed
So go sleep forever end to dust…

I still remember singing this song in the Riccio Home five or four years ago. It would make me feel a pang of guilt, I suppose. I think of Ethan and Alice. I think of how he was five years her senior. Just like I was.

But it is but a pang.

Dm.A.A.