Saturday, November 25, 2017

LOVE as ALTRUISM, SELFISHNESS, MARTYRDOM, and NARCISSISM:

I loved Alanna selflessly. Let us begin with the foregone conclusion that I did so rationally, as well. If we entertain the possibility that I am capable of Unreason, then we cannot PRECLUDE the possibility that I am incapable of self-reflection, in which case any doubts of my own Rationality would be Absurd upon my part. Hence I am obligated by Reason Itself to presume that I am Rational. And since my condition can be extrapolated upon my readers, any similarly Rational Being must presume, likewise, that I am Rational. At the very least: I should point out that an IRRATIONAL Being would not be able to fathom Reason Itself to such an extent as I have done in this first paragraph.
There are three factors at play, each expressed as a dichotomy:
1.   Whether I am (and have been, owing to my Nature) Rational or Irrational.
2.   Whether I loved her selfishly or selflessly.
3.   Whether or not I had Power over the situation.
The first variable has all ready been made into a constant. The third was given by the logistics of the situation. What remains is to determine the Quality of my Character, and that was made clear by what I DID, as a Rational Being, with the Power provided BY the situation in question.
A Selfish Man (supposing he was likewise a Rational Man) in my Position would have behaved differently than I did. Making himself the priority, he would not have precluded the possibility that his fellows would have similar motives. He would have exhausted, as is the Nature of Selfishness, every effort in order to secure his own interests. He would have done everything in his power to corner the proverbial market.
In short: Alanna would have never met K., even if that would have meant risking harm to her, by withholding from her the one resource that she centrally depended upon for her mental health: Music. The harm would not have come from her consciousness of being left out, but rather the RISK of SELF-harm would have been, ostensibly, Greater.
A selfless man, by contrast with a selfish man, (supposing that both are Rational) would have, in my Position, not hesitated to invite Alanna to watch my concert, for he would have had no conception of self-interest in doing so. If he was covetous of her, it would have only been out of concern for her protection, part and parcel with the favour provided for her well-being: the providence of Music for an ailing but brilliant mind. Had I known that this could endanger her mind, by exposing it to selfish agents, I would have promptly made the necessary sacrifices and changes in arrangement that would have enabled me to provide for her by relatively riskless means.
So it is established that my love for Alanna was selfless. And this implies a Higher Priority ascribed to it. Whereas a selfish man can allow for loss, for he alone would suffer, a selfless man cannot, for Others would suffer. A selfish man can feign Happiness in Apathy, and he can even feign Apathy with the ultimate intent of Vengeance, turning his losses at one point into successes at a later point, irrespective of the effect upon other people. Hence detachment is the way of selfishness. But a SELFLESS man, paradoxically, or at least ironically, cannot afford to be detached, for he must adhere to the A.B.C’s of altruistic living:
A.   Accountability,
B.  Blamelessness, and
C.  Conscientiousness.
It is intolerable for a Rational Man possessed of a Higher Form of Love (one capable of greater Providence for Others) to lose the object of one’s love to a Lower Form of Love, (one that predisposes all involved to disappointment and therefore to HARM) supposing he is Rational and can make the deductions necessary to predict the Tragedy. Neither should such a man ever suffer blame for the seemingly inevitable collapse when in fact the EVITABLE Tragedy could have been prevented, and he is only charged with doing everything in his power to heroically do so.
USUALLY: friendship between Selfish and Selfless men is possible, granted that there is no extreme of Martyr and Narcissist. There is no Martyr without a Narcissist, for such self-sacrifice would not be necessary if dealing only with the Absurdities intrinsic to moderate Selfishness. And in such an extreme conflict, the Martyr excels in Virtue to the same extent as the Narcissist falls short of it; hence, even if they arise mutually, the Martyr remains the Moral Superior and the most Rational Choice.
A simply SELFISH man is capable of making amends for a misdeed against a more altruistic person, doing everything in his power to protect the Love Object in service to his friend the Altruist, and doing so in such a way that the Altruist is respected as a witness and authority on the Proper Course of Action. But a Narcissist is incapable of such respect, for to him all Others are illusory. No motives exist outside of one’s own motives and their enemies, to the Narcissist’s mind.
K. was a narcissist. And his refusal to provide for Alanna’s needs led to the loss of her life.
Yet it was not alone. For Alanna all so had a choice: to pursue the path of Reason and Health, or to fall into Madness and Despair. Her tragic flaw was her OWN Selfishness. By allowing her preference for a constructed fantasy, fabricated by the Narcissist, to take precedence over the Reality of her True Lover, the Martyr, she not only violated several moral principles, victimizing the Martyr unjustly (and beyond the necessary scope of his martyrdom, that extent to which it was necessary for him to contend with the Narcissist directly, upon discovery of the Narcissism), but all so harming herself, damaging the Martyr most through that seemingly INDIRECT means. The Martyr could only express this loss as personal suffering, and the Narcissist could interpret it as self-interest (for it was merely an abstract foe to him), but the Selfish Woman was TRULY at fault for failing to see the Martyr’s Personal Suffering as an extension of her own Ill Health. This was not because a Selfish Woman was incapable of understanding Altruism and the pain of Empathy; it was rather because she PREFERRED the testimony of the Narcissist, for totally self-interested aesthetic, hedonic, and egoic reasons on her own part.
So Alanna’s Death was ultimately Her Own Tragedy. But I make it a point for all to remember that she was NOT a narcissist, for at times she was capable of confessing my Altruism, without seeking any sort of apparent agenda by so doing, (but rather at the conclusion of such a fruitless venture) and at other times she was even capable of mirroring it. So she remains a victim of the Greatest Evil, which is that of Narcissism. And K. remains singularly to blame for her Death.

Dm.A.A.

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