TROUBLE:

I understand US now, as well.

We are both Healers. We are drawn towards Troubled People. It is a Divine Attraction. We attracted one an other, by Divine Intent, so as to Heal One An Other.

Only: I do not WANT this to STOP.

And no: I’ve not been playing the Hanged Man just to try to emotionally blackmail you.

It’s something else:

We both are Troubled. Let’s not try to hide it. Helping Trouble People leaves a very recognizable Mark.

We both bear that Mark. I trust the Respect is Mutual here.

We both have a lot of Trauma and Coping Mechanisms. Our habits for dealing with Intensity are largely formed by past experiences, for better or for worse. Our reactions are volatile but totally rational to our SELVES. But not to Ourselves, collectively. So conflict seems Absolute and Irreconcilable. We are tempted to cut our losses and to go our separate ways, doubting whether Healing or Pain truly happened here; was it a Therapeutic Success, or a Pitfall?

It was neither. This Intensity is more than that.

The coincidences that hold us together are too great to dismiss with Melancholy Resolve.

I still believe that it can work out. And I’m o.k. with you doubting that with Total Conviction.

Even in your absence I am learning more about myself than I have known in Years. And Nicole: it is still BECAUSE of you. Your Absence says more than your Presence. [But*] It does not render you Dispensable. And I should know better than to regard myself that way.

*Not that this is really all that Ironical.

This is still a Good Thing.

Dm.A.A.