THE DARK SIDE of the CHAMPION:

Anthony is threatening to file a restraining order against me. I made it clear to him that I wanted him to leave me alone: to stop calling my house, repeatedly, harassing me and my family. TO return my personal belongings. To atone for all the pain he has caused me, beginning perhaps with the fact that he would harass me over facebook years ago, one of a number of causes underlying my departure from Social Networking. Of course, I could hold him accountable for leaving me behind long before that, the year that I was having a psychotic breakdown. But I was not his friend then. Kresten was. And Kresten was supposed to be MY friend.

Where did the psychosis emanate from?

Among other things: I was coping with my first break-up by listening to lectures by the dangerous cult leader Bhagwan Rajneesh, otherwise known as “Osho”. Osho’s work still adorns the shelves of book stores. His name is listed under Famous ENFPs. It is not, unlike Ché Guevara, put in the Dangerous category.

Kresten was all so an ENFP.

As was Alanna.

They were all drug users and addicts, of one sort or an other.

I tried to help them all. I understood them.

But each of them betrayed me.

Alanna died.

And Anthony continues to harass me, as though it were HE that had the right to Demand Justice.

I understand now. He honestly believes himself, after all this time, to be in the right.

He harasses me, for a second time in two weeks, and for a third time this year, by phone.

And yet he tells me that it is HE that deserves Justice. That it is HE that is going to file a restraining order.

Por que?

It was MY face that he published to YouTube, without my permission. So I had to tear his ego apart. I even went out of my way, probably upon seeing that he’d re-uploaded it, to ferret out his independent ventures, just to point out how pathetic he is without me. With the hope for once that he would see me as an Authority, and not as a resource.

He insists that I have “done” something by virtue of the e-mails that I sent to him. But he never DID any thing to preserve Justice. He has only ever empowered the people who allowed for the rape, addiction, and death of my Twin Flame, Alanna Leigh McLeod.

He has all ways seen Justice as something convenient to himself.

He has done nothing to preserve my view of it.

And I knew the Victims.

I WAS one of the Victims.

And I allowed him to continue to use me.

Even though he mistreated them.

Even though he mistreated me.

And even though he did NOTHING to stop the people who DID all the Actual Harm. Rather than the Actual Good.

I was their martyr.

But not any more, Hawk.

I will not enable them any more.

I owe them nothing.

The money that they spent on me I never saw a profit from.

They might as well have been gambling.

And I can see just how much of a Joke and an Amusement they took me to be now.

Playing me like some slot machine.

Pushing my buttons. Pulling the lever.

Counting my cards.

I am Done.

The Champion has done more harm for me than any other Personality Type.

He thinks he can harass me and in the same breath accuse me of stalking.

He thinks he can escape responsibility for the harassment that he himself initiated, forgetting this conveniently as he continues to drug himself with his cult of Hedonists. Pretending that I owe him this, as though my “ego” were my initial Offense Against Humanity. Bullying me. Killing all that I love. And retaliating when I try to destroy what HE does not even CARE about.

And all the while insisting that he does not “really hang out with them”. At least: not unless God tells him to do a good deed for them. Playing Poker in Temecula the night that we are supposed to film. Delegating Directorial Responsibilities to the Lonely Virgin Artists as he goes out on a date. Evading accountability when I ask him for what the appointment was. Pretending towards blamelessness when he admit the date was cancelled, through “apparently” no fault of his own.

I have lost personal belongings, friends (who are no longer Among the Living), and all most my Civil Rights, to these People. My record will forever be tarnished by their hypocritical will to power, and my futile attempts to counteract their blackmailing and mortal negligence.

But I cannot let YOU go, Hawk.

Not yet.

Now right now.

Just show me that you are not like the Others.

Dm.A.A.