Dream Gamma:

Dream Gamma: Yoda.

I began as a member of the Catholic clergy. Someone had stolen from the Church, and I knew that if he got away with it then he would be able to use the information in order to start a World War. Intent upon stopping him, I instituted a law that would allow Vatican guards to be armed even whilst the civilian population was disarmed. In this manner, I hoped that the Guard could track down the thief, by appeal to the natural fearfulness of the people, who would surrender the thief to the Guard immediately upon threat of punishment. Yet rumblings grew of an abuse of papal authority, so I revised the rules to allow common men the right to bear arms. They had only to abide by two strictures:

1.       They must not provoke attack upon a fellow without prior provocation.

2.   They must never attack an officer of the Guard.

In this manner I was certain that no common man would dare to disadvantage his fellows in a manner unjust and unbecoming of a child of God, because only in this manner could the Guard punish any infraction against the Common Soul of Man without fearing reproof for serving the Will of the Church and of God. If the first rule was broken, the second ensured that the first would be redressed.

This scheme proved insufficient, however, to the end of identifying the Thief. So I persuaded the Pope to sign off on an edict that allowed for the sale of indulgences. Only by so doing could I incentivize people to do right by the Church (and thereby by God) and to prevent the Worst of All Possible Worlds. In the same manner, I argued, as men could be allowed certain privileges in the spirit of Law Enforcement, they must be allowed certain meager infractions in the manner of surveilling and combating Evil, that Evil might never find a foothold in those weaknesses of character which it had itself produced in others by way of necessity unfulfilled. Evil, I argued, rests not only in its outward forms of aggression, but all so in its passive, subtler forms, whereby it might, by withholding, rob an other one of God’s Children of the rights to Life and Joy that Evil itself enjoys. Only by refusing to allow Evil this leverage could we hope to serve God’s Will. And this could only be by making clear that a double-standard exists between the Virtuous Man and the Vicious Man, so much so that the former must be spared no expense in annihilating the latter absolutely, and the latter has no right to disarm the former at any point, for he has all ready surrendered that egalitarian pretense that can only be Reality in God’s Kingdom and that is not the province of the Devil.

The Pope signed off on it, but only after reminding me not to RESIST Evil and that Armageddon is prefigured and inevitable.

You know how the story goes. Martin Luther became enraged. Intent on preserving the fig-leaf of Equality, he posted ninety-nine theses upon the door of the Church, arguing that it is only by Faith Alone that Man can find salvation. He was excommunicated, and he fled to the Americas, where he founded the Church of Latter Day Saints.

It was only when it was too late that we discovered that it was he that stole Our Treasure. The Treasure was buried in the White House. It was dug up in 1919 A.D, shortly after the end of World War One, which began, as Armageddon was prefigured to begin, in the year 1914. World War One ended on November 11, 1918. (Its Death will reach its centennial anniversary this year, on that precise date.)

I went to Heaven after my ship, christened the Mayflower, was sunk by radicals intent on stopping the conception of the United States. Along the way across the River Styx I was told by Chiron that Martin Luther was his cousin. We argued all the way about his character. Chiron argued that Martin was only trying to protect the People by defending their Equality and Liberty against a Totalitarian State. But I retorted that Equality and Liberty were only ever fig-leaves for his deeper, underlying agenda: to establish a New Empire more powerful than the Church had ever been, and whose every adherent was an agent of Satan. At this point Chiron told me that Satan was an other relative of his, and I told him to fuck off.

It was Night Time in the Elysian Fields when I arrived. I was greeted by Jedi Master Yoda. Yoda invited me to have tea with him. I asked him what I was supposed to have learned about the Sith by now. Yoda told me that God was in His Heaven and all was Right on Earth. He pointed to a Hexagram on the walls of his dome-shaped hut, which had I Ching Hexes running, apparently in order, all along the interior of its circumference, at eye-level with the tiny master. The Hexagram was “Heaven over Earth”. I pointed out that “P’i”, or Hexagram Twelve, represents Stagnation rather than Peace. Yoda replied that Pi goes on infinitely without any discernable order or pattern. I frowned. I then pointed out “T’ai”, to its right, (I’m guessing Master Yoda was writing them backwards, either moving progressively to his left or moving right and recalling them in reverse order) which is Hexagram Eleven (and must therefore PRECEDE P’i, and would hence have appeared to its left in the standard order of English Writing). I said that the Key to Peace is in Earth’s Triumph OVER Heaven, which the Christian Tradition forgot. Yoda smiled. He told me that I had learned all that I needed to. By attaining my North Node in Capricorn, the Cardinal Earth sign that had been daemonized by Christian Lore and turned into “Satan” (a perversion of its Greek Name Saturn), I would surmount the Church of Satan from WITHIN, beating them at their own game and restoring rule of the Kingdom to its proper Leader. Then I could avenge myself of the Thief of Virtue, and Balance between Heaven and Earth would be restored. The Sith would disappear, and Balance would be restored to the Force. Balance, he explained, was not by reconciling Evil with Goodness, for it is the very nature of Evil to be OUT OF Balance. Yet insofar as Armageddon raged on, I would be permitted to operate out of balance, like Hamlet in his antic disposition, or as the members of the Guard had been allowed to bear arms at the ostensible expense of their People.

I asked Yoda if this meant that when the Kali Yuga ended that the Tao would reach a standstill. He simply asked, “The same as Stagnation, is Peace?” I replied “no”, recognizing a koan. We could never know what the Next Age would bring. But we could be assured that once Evil was Conquered, as it inevitably is, what would follow would transcend that which had preceded it.

Yoda gave me a slice of pizza and a soda pop then, asking if I was okay with crème soda, since he was out of orange. I agreed greedily. He then told me that he had to get back to his knitting and that he would give me a ride home. I had much to do in my next incarnation.

We stepped out of his hut and I helped him down the steps that lined the Island, even at times requiring me to carry the tiny Zen master in my arms. Upon arrival at the bottom We saw his Toyoda was parked. “His” license plate read “YODA VO”. I laughed so hard at the sheer poetry of it all that my New Mother mistook my laughing for tears, as I was reborn.

Dm.A.A.