Hard Healing:

Every thing that you ever did you did to serve yourself. When the loyalty you craved and demanded of people was most required of you you turned on the person closest to you. And now instead of an apology you offer me insult? In place of atonement you try to displace blame which is rightfully yours upon your victim, as though you were some rapist. You think I am a rape apologist? I was YOUR apologist. I do not suffer from the sorts of weaknesses that haunt you. I used to advocate them to the very core. Now I battle them to the bitter death, using their own hypocritical vain glory against them.

You cannot be so stupid as to believe the things that you are saying. Of all your "friends" I was the most loyal and all so the most true, never hesitating to warm you against the consequences of your actions even if I did not believe that they would hurt me. I cared about YOU. And you had no reason to suspect my intelligence any more than you might suspect my intent. So how can you think *I* am stupid enough to believe it?! Are you simply trying in your bottomless spite and arrogance to anger me, that in a loss of temper I might fall victim to the same evil forces that possess you now?

I trusted you and you betrayed me. There can BE no justification for that. Your obstinance is an insult to the very institution of friendship. Your irresponsibility is the end of all the passion of freedom. Your entire morbid outlook on the human condition is an insult to the human project. It is offensive to our nature, our direction towards a common good, the very source of meaning in our lives, and our salvation from the savagery of the distant past. You are a jester whose every word is an adolescent and cliche excuse.

There is no honour in defying the will of your friends. There is no friendship without sacrifice, and though it's a sacrifice you have no choice in making it is one that I did not agree to make for your own interests. Nothing can forgive your breech of my boundaries. And I never held you to any standard lower than the common good. How dare you call me friend when you question not only my own goodness but the integrity of my own interests?!

You would have all the world submit to your morbid view because it benefits you and you alone. Admit it! You have chosen it over a world that accommodates the needs OF EVERY ONE. And then you dare to blame ME for upholding the more noble of the two?! YOU answer to ME; I am YOUR victim! It is YOUR folly that I have borne witness to and YOURS that must be mended! YOU are the parasite that erodes the pillars of society! When it collapses it shall fall upon YOUR head!!

What am I at fault for, and how dare you condemn me from Below, as though you were a crab intent on dragging me down to your doom? How can you condemn me as self-interested when YOU have been found out? And what COULD you condemn in me then? I would only be guilty of YOUR motives, and it is YOUR sin, for to this day it has only been of benefit to YOU!!!

It is fitting that Justice should benefit Everyone, myself included. If you cannot conform to its dictates that is a fault of your own device entirely. You have no right to question the benefit it would have to your own Soul. You have all ready Seen what its antithesis has done to Mine. You have no alternative but to throw the fight now. And I will not be marginalized with rhetoric that was designed for civil beings striving towards the heights of angels.

It is fitting that Justice should serve All, and since I am one with All I cannot be accused of self-interest for its perpetuation. It is YOU that must absolve yourself now, that Justice might be restored and our souls redeemed. Failure to comply will meet with the entire retribution of Justice Itself. You might think  that you can marginalize me, but you are foolish to believe that you can defy me.

Besides: what right do you have remaining to defy me?? I have been innocent and blameless with a consistency that you surely envy. There can BE no counter argument remaining for this. I have the last word now: the Universal Word. To defy it is to defy Humanity. It is my very birth-right.

Admit that it is only FEAR of me that perpetuates this folly on your part. That is why you would choose your own self-interest not only over MINE, but over that of ALL, calling the public's suspicions upon me even as your own have been found out. Admit that there is no honour in defying my will nor refusing to accord your OWN with the Great Good. And admit that your OWN will has all ways been a danger to rival mine. Egoism does not work. Idealism is not a choice. If you are not the host you are the parasite.

Dm.A.A.