Jungle Gyms:

Jungle Gyms:

Dreams of late are a splendid return. It is as though this entire time I imagined the teleological purpose of dreams to be an ESCAPE from the Reality of the Jungle Gym. Yet now I find its Reality to be Inescapable. I have only to play, and to play well. And that is fun.

Hotels adorn my dreams as well. I continue to be involved in the elaborate complex of High Society and civilization. Yet as my mastery grows my anxiety abates. This must have been how I survived Debate I.A.L. It is no surprise that the company of weaker people dispossessed me, by avenue of mimicry, of this confidence, by planting doubt in my mind of my own integrity as a Survivor and by lying about an other, transcendental World, into which I was not only permitted but OBLIGATED to escape.

Games have become sprawling. All that was turned to work via terror has become self-fulfilling joy via Excitement. And yet my convictions on a Heart Level remain untouched!!

I am not bamboozled by preachers. The mystic who obligated me to be “precise” in the expression of my emotions might simply have been trying to manipulate them. At any rate, I owe her no loyalty, and neither do I owe it to those people who accused me of being too logical simply because the extremely subtle emotions that I was feeling required abstraction to convey to their own hyper-analytical, emotionally stunted minds. It is untrue that Emotional Intelligence does not exist. Emotions are more than that. Wherever complexity arises, hierarchy tends to develop. Hence the symbol of the Hotel, whose hierarchy reflects that of the Kundalini.

Old friends and enemies walk in and out of an elaborate and sprawling drama that covers the entire city of San Diego, not unlike Synecdoche, New York. I am connected to a drama which is more than merely individual melodrama. And even individual melodrama has its rightful place in it.

Its complexity is daunting and inviting. All most seductive.

Dm.A.A.