THE NEXT LEVEL DOWN: ACT II, SCENE THREE.

Scene Three: Stirfox, again.

DRAKE: Most of my time is spent pretending not to notice what every one else pretends not to notice.

JACKSON: Sounds like an awful waste of a brilliant mind.

DRAKE: Of attention, certainly.

JACKSON: “The rarest and purest form of Generosity.”

DRAKE: Simone de Beauvoir.

JACKSON: Weil.

DRAKE: Fuck you.

JACKSON: Why are we here again?

DRAKE: You mean: Why are we here, again? Or: Why, again, are we here?

JACKSON: Yes.

DRAKE: The former: we are here again because like fuck am I letting some WAITRESS tell me where I can or cannot sit. The latter:

JACKSON: You cannot afford Out-N-About burger.

DRAKE: It’s like the Castle. From the Castle.

JACKSON: Huh?

DRAKE: K. never gets into it.

JACKSON: Only because Kafka died early.

DRAKE: Which is in a way the most absurd ending he could have chosen.

JACKSON: Blankness?

DRAKE: His own death, rather.

JACKSON: You know: we were never supposed to read it.

DRAKE: True. Kafka would have had all of his works burnt.

JACKSON: But his friend was like: naww.

DRAKE: Truly. I guess being defiant helps. When it means saving the fruits of a neurotic genius. Who met every one’s standards. All except his own. And never won back the home that he had lost. Never to enter the Castle.

JACKSON: Is the death of an author really a STATEMENT, though?

DRAKE: Camus died in a car accident.

JACKSON: So?

DRAKE: He once said that the most absurd way to die was in a car accident.

JACKSON: Props.

DRAKE: Taken.

JACKSON: To him, though.

DRAKE: Oh, that is just the top of it.

JACKSON: What were Huxley’s last words?

DRAKE: Some absurd number of grams of L.S.D. 25.

JACKSON: Did he have a good trip?

DRAKE: We shall never know. He wrote that book on drugs:

JACKSON: The Doors of Perception?

DRAKE: No. The other one. Heaven and Hell.

JACKSON: I thought that that one was about Kafka.

DRAKE: No. Visions in general. Same principle. We’ll never know if he wound up in Heaven…

JACKSON: Or the Other place.

DRAKE: Or the Third Place.

JACKSON: Hey! Just like us right here!

DRAKE: PRECISELY.

JACKSON: SWEET. Now I want a coffee.

DRAKE: Knock yourself out.

JACKSON: What about you?

DRAKE: Sure, I’ll take one.

JACKSON: No. I mean. You should buy one.

DRAKE: Oh.

JACKSON: For yourself.

DRAKE: Fuck you.

JACKSON: Hey man. I gotta save.

DRAKE: Spare me.

JACKSON: I can’t spare you nothing homie.

DRAKE: Then you cannot save me.

JACKSON: See you soon!

DRAKE: [Pause.] Well I’m bored.

Hey Brandon!

BRANDON: Hey what’s up man? Oh dude. I’m so glad you came in.

DRAKE: … really?

BRANDON: Yeah dude. I have to tell you about the gnarliest trip I’ve had in a long time.

DRAKE: Oh?

BRANDON: Yeah, man: yesterday.

DRAKE: What happened?

BRANDON: Well… when I say “trip”…

DRAKE: You mean it literally.

BRANDON: Yeah.

DRAKE: Nice. Well all I can say is I know less about this sort of thing than people seem to think. But I would love to hear about it.

BRANDON: Dude. I did a thousand.

DRAKE: Sweet. Here, let me buy a coffee. I’ll talk to you on your break, okay?

BRANDON: For sure.

JACKSON: You got a coffee!

DRAKE: Yup.

JACKSON: The dark roast?

DRAKE: How did you know?

JACKSON: It’s the only thing you could afford.

DRAKE: Yeah.

JACKSON: Now you’re a paying customer.

DRAKE: With one nickel to my name.

JACKSON: Half of a dime. Your net worth.

DRAKE: I’d be a dime a dozen. Were there twelve of me.

JACKSON: You’re no apostle. You’re the real deal, Jesus.

JACKSON: So what was all that about back at Out-N-About?

DRAKE: What in particular?

JACKSON: How you started harassing those teenagers.

DRAKE: Oh. I was just letting off steam.

JACKSON: About what?

DRAKE: I TOLD you.

JACKSON: The prices.

DRAKE: I could barely afford FRIES.

JACKSON: You know: you sound REALLY self-entitled now.

DRAKE: Thanks for caring. Considering all that we’ve been through today.

JACKSON: On your behalf? My pleasure.

DRAKE: Fuck it.

JACKSON: So why did you buy the coffee any way?

DRAKE: I don’t know. I hate this stuff.

JACKSON: I know. [laughs.] Stirfox really IS known more for its sugar than for its caffeine.

DRAKE: No amount of sugar can justify my sin.

JACKSON: But it might sweeten your enjoyment of the sin!

DRAKE: Hardly. I only really bought it because they like me here.

JACKSON: You need people to like you in order to buy food?

DRAKE: It’s the only way I ever got food when I was broke.

JACKSON: Ah. Makes sense. Somehow.

DRAKE: Hey. I’m the sarcastic one. Cut it out.

JACKSON: Sorry. It’s just the constant back-tracking. It brings me back to my gamer days. On that note: call of duty!

DRAKE: What? Oh, God. Why’d you have to announce it that way?

JACKSON: You’re lucky that I didn’t use a gamer term for it. B.R.B. n00b.

[Our hero whips out his phone suddenly. He scrolls through a social networking site. Then he attempts to log into it. He succeeds. But the page of his crush is now unavailable to him.

The audience does not see the screen. Our hero simply conveys all of the necessary emotions.

He looks up just as a skinny blonde girl enters and waves at him. He waves, puzzled, back at her, only to recognize her after the fact.]

DRAKE: Janet!

JANET: HEY. How are you, Derek?

DRAKE: Great! More or less you know. You know I hate to answer that question for others. But how are you?

JANET: I’m GOOD. Here. Let me get a drink and then I’ll talk to you.

DRAKE: Okay for sure!

[He gazes for a brief moment with tragic longing upon the phone, and then he turns it off and pockets it with spite. He looks up again to see her coming towards him.]

DRAKE: Here: have a seat.

JANET: For sure. So how have you been? Wait: I all ready asked you that.

DRAKE: It’s all right. I did not answer.

[She smiles understandingly.]

DRAKE: But how about YOU? You look good!

JANET: THANKS. I FEEL good.

DRAKE: Oh, you getting better?

JANET: Yeah: I got my cycle back.

DRAKE: Your… cycle?

JANET: Well. [awkwardly for a moment.] You see, I am a woman so…

DRAKE: Oh yeah that. Yeah I heard about that.

JANET: You… heard?

DRAKE: I mean. About cycles. Yeah. I thought you meant that kind of cycle. I just wanted to make sure what kind of cycle you meant.

JANET: [Smiles again, not awkwardly however, but with sadness all most.]

I’m going to get my coffee. I’ll be right back. Stay here! I want you to meet my friends.

DRAKE: ALL right!

[She smiles and walks away. J.J. returns.]

JACKSON: Who was that?

DRAKE: Friend.

JACKSON: She looks good.

DRAKE: Yeah. She lost weight.

JACKSON: That’s good. Though at times rude to point out.

DRAKE: Only in some circles.

JACKSON: Well: it implies that she HAD weight to lose.

DRAKE: She was on heroin.

JACKSON: Oh.

DRAKE: Still is.

JACKSON: I can see that.

DRAKE: Really?

JACKSON: Yeah.

DRAKE: I think you’re just saying that.

JACKSON: May be. I can’t remember now.

DRAKE: So what were we talking about?

JACKSON: Out-N-About. The burger Nazis.

DRAKE: I mean: I won’t lie. I’ve been working hard. Not just manually.

JACKSON: Which has not been much at all.

DRAKE: But you know. Other ways. Getting situated. Staying above it. Creating art that no one consumes.

JACKSON: Being a member of society.

DRAKE: Productively.

JACKSON: Totally useful.

DRAKE: But underappreciated. Any way: you’d think I could afford at least some FRIES.

JACKSON: You could!

DRAKE: In ADDITION to a sandwich.

JACKSON: Well: try O’Donnell’s next time.

DRAKE: I kind of want to go there now.

JACKSON: You have no money.

DRAKE: Zane does. He still owes me two.

JACKSON: Oh. Will you see him?

DRAKE: Janet probably knows where he is.

JACKSON: Oh. Does he hook her up?

DRAKE: Probably. Now that J.J. is out.

JACKSON: You mean IN.

DRAKE: Out of the game.

JACKSON: And in the zone.

JANET: Back! Who is your friend?

JACKSON: J.J.

JANET: Oh, another one. Cool. What’s your full name?

DRAKE: Jackson Jacobsen.

JANET: VERY cool. I’ll be right back all right?

DRAKE: Sure thing!

[she exits.]

JACKSON: Why did you give her my name?

DRAKE: What? You’re afraid of heroin chicks?

JACKSON: No. It’s just: you SPOKE for me.

DRAKE: Well. My. Bad?

JACKSON: Don’t do it again.

DRAKE: O. Kay?

JACKSON: ALL most okay. All most.

DRAKE: Right.

JACKSON: Any way: Out-N-About.

DRAKE: I know I sound self-entitled. But you have to understand.

JACKSON: I’m listening.

DRAKE: I got used to people feeding me at Out-N-About via Dominic.

JACKSON: Uh huh.

DRAKE: And he all ways expected some thing back.

JACKSON: Naturally.

DRAKE: But that’s the thing. People all ways EXPECT some thing. In return.

JACKSON: Quid pro quo. Reciprocal altruism.

DRAKE: First: those two things are totally different.

JACKSON: Only depending on intent.

DRAKE: Second: that’s been my whole life! Yes: I EXPECT the double-trouble and the fries and shake. But: it’s never free.

JACKSON: No free lunches.

DRAKE: But growing up people all ways had it easy. And I was the somber kid that people liked out of pity.

JACKSON: Your point?

DRAKE: My point! I never HAD the kind of unconditional love that parents owe to their children.

JACKSON: And you expect that from people who did.

DRAKE: Of course. Because like Dominic, they don’t expect things in return because they all ways had to WORK for it. No! They expect it because they did NOT have to work for it. Nor did they have to ask for it. Nor fight for it. It was GIVEN to them.

JACKSON: I see.

DRAKE: So they hold others perpetually in their debt. All ways. The oppression of the underprivileged by the privileged.

JACKSON: In contemporary American society. Who knew?

DRAKE: I did. All ways.

JACKSON: You should write a book.

DRAKE: It would not matter: they never read. Or if they do, it’s totally selective. They don’t even lend their books out. But they lose the ones they borrow.

JACKSON: Hm.

DRAKE: ANY way: it makes me bitter when I’m hungry. As you would be, too.

JACKSON: I get you. My only question is: would your parents have bought you burgers?

DRAKE: If they FELT like it. Then yeah.

JACKSON: But only in exchange for some thing else.

DRAKE: Some thing I don’t OWE to them.

JACKSON: And that is?

DRAKE: My life. My course in life. My choices. My right to be.

JACKSON: You don’t think you could be grateful for the fact that they provided you not only with life but the means to support it?

DRAKE: The means were all ways binding. I was perpetually in debt. And never free. From the day that I was born. I was led to believe that I was being punished constantly for my mistakes.

JACKSON: Harsh.

DRAKE: And as for life: [pause.] What life?

JACKSON: I’m sorry. Did I pick a bad time to roast you? I was just starting to have fun doing it.

DRAKE: It’s whatever. I’m ambivalent.

JACKSON: THAT’S good.

DRAKE: Yeah! So what? So I just got arrested for your screw-ups.

JACKSON: OUR screw-ups. It was your idea to go inside the theatre.

DRAKE: Only after… any way. And okay. So I’m single, celibate against my will

JACKSON: So without all of the pride.

DRAKE: Right. And my coolest friend just got arrested.

JACKSON: Your coolest formerly CIVILIAN friend.

DRAKE: Right. Any way: oh. And I just found out that Jasmine is the coolest person I have ever met. Just based upon her Instant Grahams.

JACKSON: The Scorpio?

DRAKE: Yeah.

JACKSON: Despite her being on H?

DRAKE: Huh?

JACKSON: Heroin.

DRAKE: I know. Wait. You mean Janet? No! Jasmine the barista.

JACKSON: And shift leader.

DRAKE: How do you remember all of that but not her name?

JACKSON: Coincidence.

DRAKE: Any way: yesterday I was ELATED. I felt so proud of my self. I’d just done the impossible: found her Instant Grahams profile. All through a Google search of her boyfriend.

JACKSON: How romantic.

DRAKE: You have NO idea. This was the culmination of a noble and tormented quest.

JACKSON: I’ll bet.

DRAKE: Imagine the jewels I found upon her profile! Posts of the most surpassing esotericism. One had only to extricate them from the parasitic clutches of her misplaced affections.

JACKSON: For the jock?

DRAKE: Yeah. The car guy. With the solar.

JACKSON: More calcified than dead trees, right?

DRAKE: Tell me about it.

JACKSON: So what happened?

DRAKE: I made an Instant Grahams account.

JACKSON: You know you’re saying that wrong, right?

DRAKE: Obviously. Any way: it worked. I left her a comment with a link to one of my videos. The one that deals with her South Node in Taurus and her North in Scorpio.

JACKSON: Again: sounds romantic.

DRAKE: And today that comment disappeared.

JACKSON: Did you try logging on? Some times you can’t see the posts until you’re online.

DRAKE: I did.

JACKSON: And did you see it?

DRAKE: The opposite happened.

JACKSON: You… “unsaw” it?

DRAKE: I saw nothing!

JACKSON: Oh. [knowingly and with disarming pity.]

DRAKE: And so I tried a little experiment. I logged off.

JACKSON: Uh huh. [tentatively.]

DRAKE: And checked her profile.

JACKSON: Was she still there?

DRAKE: Yep.

JACKSON: Yeah…

DRAKE: And then I logged on again.

JACKSON: And she was gone.

DRAKE: Yep.

JACKSON: I hate to tell you man.

DRAKE: Wait. Let’s say it together.

[Together:]

JACKSON: She blocked me. / DRAKE: she blocked you.

DRAKE: Huh? Did you just say “she blocked me”?

JACKSON: No. I said she blocked YOU.

DRAKE: *I* said she blocked me!

JACKSON: No. You said “She blocked you”.

DRAKE: Right. Meaning me.

JACKSON: But I said “she blocked me”.

DRAKE: Meaning me.

JACKSON: Obviously. That’s what I said.

DRAKE: You don’t mean you?

JACKSON: No. “me” as in “you”.

DRAKE: Because we were trying to say the same thing at the same time.

JACKSON: And ended up saying what we thought the other one was going to say.

DRAKE: FUCK that’s codependent.

JACKSON: Yeah. You’re really growing on me.

DRAKE: Like a moss?

JACKSON: More like a cancer.

DRAKE: The sign or the disease?

JACKSON: [Pause.] Yes.

JACKSON: So in spite of every thing, you feel…?

DRAKE: Hopeful.

JACKSON: Oh really.

DRAKE: Yes. You said in “spite”. What did you expect?

JACKSON: I guess: some thing more vindictive.

DRAKE: Naww. She can have her Mexican lard. I’ve found a new Scorpio.

JACKSON: Not the fat one.

DRAKE: No. The skinny one. Wherever she is.

JACKSON: Great to see you seeing the silver lining. I’m going to go get a refill.

DRAKE: Can you get me one too?

JACKSON: What am I? Your errand-boy? Get it yourself.

DRAKE: Asshole.

DRAKE: Hey, man. Brandon!

BRANDON: Oh hey what’s up boss.

DRAKE: Hey. Can you get me a refill on this?

BRANDON: ACTUALLY I’m on my break now.

DRAKE: Oh. Wait. So can you chat?

BRANDON: You know to be honest I’m real BUSY.

DRAKE: Oh.

BRANDON: Yeah. I mean: I was just kind of all about talking to some one about the trip. But since you’ve never done it.

DRAKE: Well: if you change your mind. I’m all ways willing to listen. I mean. I love learning about this sort of thing. And I’ve had plenty similar experience.

BRANDON: I feel it. I just got to get back to WORK. You know?

DRAKE: Yeah.

[He stares with resentment upon the cup, as though it were his foe.]

JACKSON: Is she back yet?

DRAKE: This cup is the symbol of every thing that my life has been.

JACKSON: It’s disposable?

DRAKE: Sure.

JACKSON: Recyclable.

DRAKE: [Looks up. Sees Janet.] Let’s hope.

Dm.A.A.