THE NEXT LEVEL DOWN: ACT III, SCENE FOUR.

Scene Four: Taco Hell.

DRAKE: What is this place?

ARIANA: Hell.

DRAKE: You mean Taco Hell.

ARIANA: Correct.

DRAKE: This was the place that he took you and me. That night I watched the two of you walk off. Holding hands.

ARIANA: Precisely.

DRAKE: You made SO much fun of me that night. I could not believe it. I thought I might be projecting.

ARIANA: You were. But so were we. We all saw one an other’s projections.

DRAKE: And that became our intersubjective reality.

ARIANA: Thus breaking you out of your long post-structural fixation.

DRAKE: Christ. You were the one who taught me how to talk about philosophy. You taught me every communication skill I know. Save for bitching.

ARIANA: [Snickers.]

DRAKE: And now I’m cursed. My life is an open book. I’m so damn CLEAR about EVERY thing. No one wants to hear it.

ARIANA: You’re welcome.

DRAKE: Is that why you once tried to kill yourself? Nobody liked you? Because you were an agent of truth?

ARIANA: I think honestly it had more to do with the fact that some one that I loved rejected me.

DRAKE: So that’s why you are here? To serve the truth?

ARIANA: Or to reject you.

DRAKE: Well: at any rate. Thanks. I know you would not be doing this if I were not asleep. But still: thank you.

ARIANA: You’re well come.

DRAKE: Why do you EAT this stuff?

ARIANA: It’s filling.

DRAKE: So is food.

ARIANA: I’m an Aries.

DRAKE: God. In my dreams you ADMIT to it.

ARIANA: And I am no longer a Vegan.

DRAKE: Or not YET a vegan. If this is the old you.

ARIANA: I am an enigma.

DRAKE: Somehow you make more sense in my dreams.

ARIANA: Do I really?

DRAKE: [Gazes into her eyes briefly.] But still no sense at all.

ARIANA: “Lucid reason notes its limits.”

DRAKE: Pardon me. I just came.

ARIANA: T.M.I.

ARIANA: So how did you get arrested?

DRAKE: First: defending myself from your terror.

ARIANA: I see.

DRAKE: Second: Defending your honor.

ARIANA: Hm. Cute.

DRAKE: I thought you did not approve of that word.

ARIANA: Only when used against me.

DRAKE: That’s what makes you so much cooler than Virgil, and all so most feminists.

ARIANA: What? That I can take a punch?

DRAKE: More like fruit punch.

[she snickers again.]

DRAKE: And more like you can set a double-standard down like a gauntlet. And accept any challenge.

ARIANA: We Aries people are actually quite egalitarian.

DRAKE: And even that statement was an attempt to fight me.

ARIANA: Hm.

DRAKE: We Pisceans are really humble.

ARIANA: And even that statement was an attempt to aggrandize yourself.

DRAKE: Hm.

DRAKE: You know. I kind of like this.

ARIANA: You know it cannot last.

DRAKE: Just sitting here. It feels like cosmic justice. Like what that night SHOULD have been. Minus the fast food.

ARIANA: Don’t get your hopes up.

DRAKE: Why not? The food was fast enough.

ARIANA: You know that joke sucked.

DRAKE: So why not really? Because I’m going to wake up?

ARIANA: No.

DRAKE: Why then?

ARIANA: Because this dream will change.

DRAKE: How quickly?

ARIANA: As fast as the food.

[Enter homeless man.]

DRAKE: Fuck.

HOMELESS MAN [to self]: Some things just should not ever happen. They are absolutes; they are not relative to the agent of action. A victim should find the courage to admit to his own victimhood should such dastardly circumstances ever befall, speaking from on high as a blameless, innocent authority. The other players can do nothing to dissuade him, for they are all, for having perpetrated the tragedy, guilty, and of no caliber as such to judge of him. They would only project their own moral inadequacies. And all other agents would be of secondary importance, for they will have had nothing to do with the tragedy. For which they ought to be happy.

DRAKE: Why does he sound vaguely…

ARIANA: Familiar? Because this is your dream.

DRAKE: No. Rational.

ARIANA: Oh. Because he is pathetic.

HOMELESS: [Rises. Dylan enters in police uniform.]

But who shall speak on his behalf? I mean: who shall defend the innocent? Will the LAW do so? When has the LAW ever guaranteed justice to the deprived?

[Dylan sits beside the homeless man. Drake smiles.]

DYLAN: Not for long though.

HOMELESS: How come?

DYLAN: [grins slyly.] You remember the friends in low places I was telling you about?

HOMELESS: [extends hand in greeting.] I don’t believe we’ve met.

DYLAN: [takes hand and shakes.] Regardless. They are going to bust us out of here.

HOMELESS: REALLY?

DYLAN: Yeah. The revolution’s coming.

[Enter Clark and Jake.]

JAKE: Clark. We’re going to be late.

CLARK: Now HOLD on. Janet was a WOMAN.

JAKE: Yes. So?

CLARK: SO: She COULD not have wanted power. Because all that women want is sex.

JAKE: That’s such a male thing to say.

CLARK: She only wanted him because he’d had sex with other women.

JAKE: That’s an OUTRAGE!!

DRAKE: Oh Christ Almighty.

DYLAN: What’s the matter here?

CLARK: He thinks that Janet cheated on me because that prick had had sex with multiple women hitherto.

DYLAN: I see.

JAKE: But I was simply pointing OUT to him that ALL that women want is sex.

DYLAN: And you?

CLARK: Insisted that that was an insult. So I called you guys.

DYLAN: Well. What do you make of this?

HOMELESS MAN: I say we should take them ALL in.

ALL PRESENT: FUCK.

[All but Ariana, Drake, and Homeless Man exit.

Enter Xavier, who tends the counter.]

DRAKE: They are all burnt nuts.

ARIANA: Hey. It’s YOUR dream motherfucker.

DRAKE: You know J.J? He once had a whole vessel of salted nuts.

ARIANA: I’ll bet the jokes were endless.

DRAKE: He was high. So yes. He and Zane and me.

ARIANA: You mean Jake?

DRAKE: We were eating these nuts.

BOTH: “DEASE NUTS”. [She adds an interrogative inflection to the end of it. (“Dease nuts?”)]

DRAKE: And J.J. kept pouring them. He kept pouring his nuts into my hand. He found it hysterical.

ARIANA: I’ll bet he did.

DRAKE: It was at the Stirfox. And he told me to tell him when to stop.

ARIANA: Sounds sexy.

DRAKE: You know: why do you do that?

ARIANA: Do what.

DRAKE: Act sexy in my dreams. You never did that in person. Unless… HE was around.

ARIANA: Hm. May be it’s the setting.

DRAKE: May be you’re just waiting to let me down. May be this dream is a nightmare.

[She smiles and then shrugs childishly.]

DRAKE: ANY way: [pause, deciding which conversational avenue to take.] It’s like you keep getting my hopes up. I keep trying to be negative. And you go positive.

ARIANA: Not ALL the time.

DRAKE: About four out of five.

ARIANA: And how is this unlike Real Life?

DRAKE: I guess it’s not. Which worries me.

ARIANA: I’ll bet. ANY way: tell me more about your nuts.

DRAKE: Ha.

ARIANA: And I mean your friends of course.

DRAKE: Well. They WERE nuts.

ARIANA: mm. Salted kind.

DRAKE: God. If I ever wrote you down this way you’d hate me for it.

ARIANA: [diligently, as a reminder to get back on topic:] Nuts.

DRAKE: Right. Well. I was not used to generosity. SO he would all ways over-pour. This one barista who worked all so at this rehab clinic.

ARIANA: Stirfox had a rehab clinic?

DRAKE: It should have. She thought I was high too.

ARIANA: May be she simply came off that way.

DRAKE: Stop that. Stop being nice.

ARIANA: I will. You know I will.

DRAKE: And I can’t stop you?

ARIANA: This might be your dream…

DRAKE: But I’m not lucid.

ARIANA: Yep.

DRAKE: She was mad at me. When they left I was sitting there alone with all these nuts at my feet.

ARIANA: Sounds like me.

DRAKE: You’re awful.

ARIANA: Hey. At least my jokes don’t suck.

DRAKE: Only as much as YOU do.

ARIANA: Ouch. [coyly.]

DRAKE: How was your food?

ARIANA: Fast.

DRAKE: As fast as sex?

ARIANA: [guffaws hysterically.]

DRAKE: I love how that joke works on you in both worlds.

ARIANA: It’s all about the timing.

DRAKE: So, why DID you do it?

ARIANA: What? Would you have me besmirch my honour?

DRAKE: I doubt you would.

ARIANA: But I thought you all ready KNEW.

DRAKE: I thought so.

ARIANA: May be you thought wrong.

DRAKE: It’s THAT part of the dream, now. Isn’t it?

ARIANA: It has been for a while.

DRAKE: [Pause.] Fuck.

ARIANA: You seem so calm.

DRAKE: I’m used to it. You should have seen the sort of day I had.

ARIANA: I’ll imagine it was hard.

DRAKE: Please. No more dick jokes.

ARIANA: Fine. I’ll tell it to you straight.

DRAKE: Now I said stop that.

ARIANA: I feel no need to apologise for my deeds.

DRAKE: Of course. We all ready saw the guilt written on your face.

ARIANA: Not like that.

DRAKE: How come? Come on. You HURT me.

ARIANA: So will every one.

DRAKE: OKAY Nesta. But come off it now. We were both virgins. If we had deflowered one an other. It would have been PERFECT.

ARIANA: Wrong dream man.

DRAKE: I MEAN it.

ARIANA: From your point of view.

DRAKE: No. Universally.

ARIANA: You mean like that bum said?

DRAKE: PRECISELY like that bum said.

ARIANA: Cute.

DRAKE: I defended your honor once. When J.J. asked me about it.

ARIANA: While his nuts were in your hands?

DRAKE: No. The other J.J.

ARIANA: So while the OTHER J.J’s nuts were in your hands.

DRAKE: I wish. I would have torn him a new asshole.

ARIANA: Why? He all ready has so many assholes in his life.

DRAKE: I wonder how that is. ANY way: HE said that because you were a WOMAN you fucked…

ARIANA: Him.

DRAKE: Let’s call him what we agreed to call him I.A.L.

ARIANA: In Actual Life?

DRAKE: Yeah.

ARIANA: So “tapeworm”?

DRAKE: Capitalised.

ARIANA: Gotcha.

DRAKE: He said you fucked Tapeworm because Tapeworm had “experience”.

ARIANA: Perhaps.

DRAKE: No. DEFINITELY he said that.

ARIANA: Perhaps it was true.

DRAKE: No. Because you loved me. But you used sex for power.

ARIANA: That is what you think?

DRAKE: It’s what you told me.

ARIANA: And you still believe me.

DRAKE: Yep.

ARIANA: I see.

ARIANA: So. How about Santa Claus?

DRAKE: Okay FUCK you. I’m not any more delusional for believing your lies than I was guilty for having trusted Tape.

ARIANA: May be we should play the Quiet Game again.

DRAKE: Why Did You Do It?

ARIANA: Well. Think of it this way: it’s quite practical. Every one in my life teaches me something. You teach me about philosophy. My professors teach me about communication. My drug dealer teaches me about drugs. And Tapeworm… he teaches me about sex.

DRAKE: No he doesn’t. *I* do.

ARIANA: If your car broke down… you know, if you HAD a car… would you take it to an EXPERIENCED mechanic, or to one who never saw a car before in his life?

DRAKE: Neither. I would take the Middle Way. Because I have a friend who works on cars each day. He’s not a professional mechanic. But he’s certainly seen cars before.

ARIANA: Well. Then he’s just like Tapeworm.

DRAKE: Wait. No. Tapeworm was the “experienced mechanic” in your metaphor.

ARIANA: He was neither. You presumed.

DRAKE: Quit trying to fuck with me.

ARIANA: [gusto:] ACTUALLY YOU are trying to fuck with ME.

DRAKE: Stop that. I got your point. But mine remains. You know why I don’t have a job? Because I have FRIENDS.

ARIANA: So you can use your FRIENDS and give them nothing in return?

DRAKE: No. YOU do that. I do not “use” my friends. I simply give them credit where credit is due.

ARIANA: Rather than seeing a professional.

DRAKE: Rather than being a ladder-climbing whore. Yes.

[Dylan enters again. He is wearing a shirt that reads “Amoral Clitoris” in mock-blood against a black background. He performs a death metal piece, a’capella, and walks off.]

DRAKE: See?

ARIANA: It was not to my liking.

DRAKE: How could you DO this to me?

ARIANA: Quit it. You sound pathetic.

DRAKE: You ARE pathetic. Were it any other man. You know: my dreams had warned me long ago he would betray me. Only problem was: one person I had trusted to interpret them.

ARIANA: Who was that?

DRAKE: You know who it was. It was HIM! And rather than being GRATEFUL for the trust I’d placed in him he took it all ways for granted like a spoiled BITCH.

ARIANA: That’s enough.

DRAKE: No. I’m holding you to your OWN standards now. Not mine alone.

ARIANA: I think we should go.

DRAKE: No. This can happen here. Where it began.

ARIANA: Then *I* will go.

DRAKE: Stay. Please.

ARIANA: I must.

DRAKE: You must stay. Look: I’m lucid. I can make the doors disappear.

[She looks around. They are gone.]

ARIANA: FUCK.

[She sits.] Okay but make this quick.

DRAKE: You are amoral.

ARIANA: Morality is subjective.

DRAKE: And communication is receiver-based.

ARIANA: Just like I said. But SOME times the receiver’s broken.

DRAKE: Just like *I* said.

[she knods.]

DRAKE: Okay well: Mine isn’t. I am not just a receiver. I’m a sender. A provider.

ARIANA: You are lucky that you’re dreaming.

DRAKE: You might laugh at me. But I have made that POSSIBLE for you.

ARIANA: Oh. So you’re totally now innocent.

DRAKE: I am.

ARIANA: And not MANIPULATIVE at all.

DRAKE: Not at all. You asked me for the Truth. I promised it. And here it is.

ARIANA: And here I was. Thinking that you expected me to bring the “Truth” to YOU.

DRAKE: You use people.

ARIANA: I guess I’m not here for that purpose then.

DRAKE: And violate the Categorical Imperative.

ARIANA: I guess I really AM supposed to make you SUFFER after all.

DRAKE: Even as you described me and your other “friends”. All the professors and drug dealers. We are merely means towards YOUR ends!

ARIANA: And what about ME?? Am *I* not a means towards YOUR end?

DRAKE: Our needs were mutual.

ARIANA: I needed HIM.

DRAKE: He did not need you.

ARIANA: So WHAT??

DRAKE: So neither of us needed him.

ARIANA: I did.

DRAKE: I needed you.

ARIANA: Too bad.

DRAKE: And THAT’S where your whole argument now falls apart.

ARIANA: Fuck you. What are you going to DO about it?

DRAKE: Simply wait for guilt to dawn on you. So you’ll admit that we were NOT victims of fate, or chance, or even alien wills. But that there was a PLAN. A Divine Plan. One that could have occurred to any sober person, even on strictly secular terms, as the only possible diplomatic solution. But you fucked up. You picked wrong.

ARIANA: So why did you blame HIM?
DRAKE: Because he used you. Because HE used BOTH of us.

ARIANA: We both used you as well.

DRAKE: That might be true…

ARIANA: And YOU used both of us.

DRAKE: I did not use you.

ARIANA: You meant to.

DRAKE: You really should stop talking to him.

ARIANA: Why?

DRAKE: You wonder how I know you do?

ARIANA: How?

DRAKE: Because he too would accuse me on suspicion of intent. The very fact that I fought back would all ways seem to invalidate the integrity of my position. But that’s ridiculous. Of COURSE I fight back with the same integrity with which I was a victim to begin with. He exploited this tendency that I had, beginning with my upbringing, to be happy to be of service. And yes: I WANTED him to be happy as well, in serving me.

ARIANA: You see?

DRAKE: But he never WAS. And that’s the entire problem. I served him gladly. But he served me grudgingly.

HOMELESS MAN: You have to look at what ACTUALLY happened, not what COULD have happened. Look at what ACTUALLY happened, and look at the fact it had to STOP.

ARIANA: So you got emotional perks.

DRAKE: But the emotions were unhealthy. Were they not you would approve of them.

ARIANA: I might.

DRAKE: But you do not serve me.

ARIANA: May be I want more than happiness.

DRAKE: You’re quoting me again.

ARIANA: I know.

DRAKE: The point is that there WAS a parasitic, codependent tendency at play. Only HE was the parasite. I was the host. And it showed. It showed when the two of you began to flirt in my own home.

ARIANA: We don’t belong to you.

DRAKE: But you were guests.

ARIANA: That house does not belong to you.

DRAKE: But I belong to it.

ARIANA: Your point?

DRAKE: You desecrated my sanctuary.

ARIANA: Oh, gee.

DRAKE: Had I KNOWN what you were capable of, I would not have trusted you.

ARIANA: I guess that was your error then.

DRAKE: But you knew it to be my error even as it happened.

ARIANA: If it crossed my mind.

DRAKE: Yet you still did it. Even knowing I had fucked up. All most as though it was MEANT to be that way. As though I were MEANT to fuck up. And that’s not okay. Because I do admit to my mistake. But I was innocent. And you were not.

ARIANA: That’s news to me.

DRAKE: I know it isn’t. But why do I blame him?

ARIANA: Yeah. Why?

DRAKE: Because he stole your innocence. Because I KNOW the girl I met would not have done that.

ARIANA: I was snorting coke and swindling people for drugs since I was TWELVE.

DRAKE: Okay. I KNOW my dream’s exaggerating.

ARIANA: The reality is even nuttier.

DRAKE: Be that as it may: I forgive you.

ARIANA: How can you?

DRAKE: Because I’m better than you.

ARIANA: You are right. If ever you decide to write this down. I’ll probably murder you.

DRAKE: That would turn me on.

ARIANA: Or rather never talk to you again.

DRAKE: Fuck.

ARIANA: [grins.] It’s your move now.

[At this moment the place is over-run, via the KITCHEN, by young radicals.]

[The dream dissolves.]

Dm.A.A.