A Tale of Selflessness:

A Tale of Selflessness.

I was accused of being selfish in my pain.

That I expected things to go a certain way as though I did not reserve that right.

But I never expected that.

I never expected much of any thing.

I was simply vulnerable.

I did not expect your ways to hurt me.

And while I might have feared that my own ways would hurt myself, I never thought that they might hurt the very people that I'd tried to help.

The thought of losing her to you was not a jealous thought.

It was the knowledge of how much she would suffer. That was all. All else was but a means to the end of protecting her.

So it still is.

It was you that expected me to be happy for you.

But you know nothing of altruism.

It does not pardon injustice easily.

You told me, in your madness, that I did not own people and their feelings, as though I required ownership or desired it.

My purposes were on a level you could never comprehend. The very thought of them shocked you.

It was you who tried to own people exclusively. I was content with people as our public property. I simply knew what my calling was. No one could justly turn me from it. I never wavered.

I never thought that all the people I was helping and nurturing could turn on me and so destroy one an other.

Thankfully she survived.

But not without constant care and sacrifice on my part.

That stands as evidence of the purity of my altruism, even if its expression was unexpected and its outcomes dubious.

Why would you expect otherwise?

You have deluded yourself that you have goodness figured out. But you surely cannot pretend that you have learned how to master and overcome it.

It is freedom. It cannot be overcome, but only attained by overcoming its opposite.

And she knows this as well.

Dm.A.A.