Recovering from Abuse: The Fascist.

Recovering from Abuse: The Fascist.

You all ways tried to control me. Even now you try to and you refuse to accept responsibility for it. To your mind and by your own admission you regard my life as some sort of game of zero sum. So you insist WITH RUTHLESSNESS that I am forbidden to exercise my will upon others, even if that exercise of my will is absolutely necessary to the attainment of my most basic needs and most inspired goals. Any will alien to your own is an adversary, so even as you impose will upon me you do so by denying me my right to fight back. You add insult to injury and blame your victim. You all ways told me how to live: to get a job, to keep my mouth shut, and to ACCEPT what was not inevitable but was treacherous towards me. You isolated your interests from mine, falling all ways short of what you COULD do but all the while demanding more and more of others. And why did you have the right to fall so short? Why did you demand conformity and defend conformism except that it would allow you to do a little less than you were capable of? Was it laziness or simply fanciful elitism? Your expression of the Will to Power was passive-aggressive, preserving the laziness of others so that the machinery of society would ERODE. You are persistent only insofar as it is easy to pretend that you ARE the machinery of society. Yet you are simply a sell-out who robs the machine of its proper purpose: to accommodate human life.

Ethics are not exclusively those that can be governed by Force. The philosopher’s path is a dangerous one, alongside that of the eccentric artist. Both have to convey their Vision of how Life is supposed to be. To sell out is to cease to be an Artist. Intimacy is the ability to share one’s Vision in a spirit of Trust in that both parties aim at a common goal. This Trust is violated when one of them is condemned for his Vision, when the common goal is sabotaged, or when the conditions of Intimacy are used to benefit at the expense of the other party.

Without transparency of conviction, relationship is impossible. Since this degree of moral reasoning occurs on the post-Conventional level, it is never a threat of force, because enforcement is the solitary province of the Law. The Law occurs on the Conventional Level. Most people live on this level. Yet without the few that abide on the post-Conventional level, the Law loses its purpose.

I made my self vulnerable to some one who possessed the intelligence to comprehend post-Conventional morality. She admitted to my moral superiority, but she condemned its implications. I drew conclusions reasonably from her claims and promises. Then I was met with legal recourse. It was threatening, but I came prepared. I had all ready violated her terms, without having known them, for I would often be in the habit of sending her material without waiting around for a response. The material she claimed to read and to appreciate, though inconsistencies appeared betwixt that narrative and the given facts. The responses were often mean, and she even discouraged me from reading them once I’d made it clear I could not bear to see them.

The legal threat was looming, but I replied. I made it clear that I would not be toyed with. I wrote it with finality and irony. It was what I called an Apotheosis: the culmination of the hero’s quest, the Beatific Vision at the end of the Journey. In short: it was over. Or so I intended. And she and I would get our common wish: Privacy.

It was only AFTER I wrote this that I was threatened again. And at this point it’s even more laughable than it was before. The Fascist is really so vulgar. She uses her weakness as a threat. She slanders those who trusted her. She champions the Truth, but only insofar as it works in her supposed favour. She claims to be a freedom-fighter but is a total conformist to the Word of the Law, devoid of its Spirit. She is the reason that the whistleblower and the innocent advocate are confused with a third group: the malevolent “Snitch”.

Were one meek, one might surrender one’s autonomy as an intellectual to her. But true genius must survive the fleeting devices of any one set of lifetimes.

The Fascist is not really worried about ongoing habits from the past; that is never enough to exercise legal action. The legal action is a threat, a bluff, and an ongoing attempt to control. If this seems all too hopeful, I assure you it is produced under force of Reason alone, devoid of attachment.

What threatens the Fascist most is not the past but the future: that one will rise up and refuse to be a victim any longer. And that is of course DEEPLY threatening.

Dm.A.A.

P.S.: Choosing not to operate an automobile does not make one MORE dangerous, but less so. It is meekness in practice, not only in semblance. Yet it is all so wise, and hardly is it a grievous disability.