Get this through your head, Taylor:
You will never see Alanna again.
She made a promise to me that she values "more than life itself."
It was only a year ago she made it, and it still feels like only yesterday I met her. It was fated. These things are.
It took her long enough. She has seen through you.
The detached silent partner routine never works with smart women.
You might think she will come back if you're aloof. And she might have at first. But not because you're any good at what you think you "do". Only because it's fun to play along with such a childish sadomasochistic game.
The truth is that we've all ready figured out what you have not about it, even though the clues were put in front of you:
That we are what we pretend to be.
If you PRETEND not to care, after a point the woman tires of pretending that you do. She sees that really it can't matter whether you are "actually" apathetic or just playing "hard to get".
Because semblance becomes reality.
If you pretend not to care, then you don't.
At any moment you might flip the switch and choose to cut her out completely. And you might flip back, probably when you're desperate or when you are content enough. But MAYBE by then it is too late to get her back, and CERTAINLY by then the damage has been done. Who has she all ways gone to during these times? Whose ears did she grate with such phrases as "He made me happy, even though it was weird when he IGNORED me?" Who was ALL WAYS there, though she did not deserve it, wondering why he believed her to? It was me. It was I.
This time, you've gone too far.
This time, she is not coming back on your say-so.
And if she breaks her promise to me in the word of the law, it will not be in the Spirit of the law. She has a plan of which you can know nothing.
You had your chance.
We were ready to forgive you.
None of this would have happened had I not done you the courtesy -- the honour! -- of starting a band with you. Remember how it felt to be in a professional recording studio? Well: she lived for that feeling, only on the stage.
So I brought her to Kettle.
And you stole her.
You corrupted her in her innocence.
When I was helpless to stop you.
But I was not helpless for long.
You would not accept our offer to reform the band. You had the gall to ask us why you owed it to me.
You owed it to her. That much alone is enough.
Because I all ways did this for HER, receiving nothing in return.
Rightfully she would have rewarded me if she decided any one should receive a reward. I made no move to pressure her. But her rewarding you instead? That I could not tolerate. I never needed you that much. Don't flatter yourself.
She knew that. She felt guilty about it.
And she did not handle guilt well.
The abuse with which you treated her seethed through.
And I could only defend my self with anger.
It was only made worse when she confided this anger in you.
It was only made worse when you tried to use this anger against me.
I would have never spoken with you again.
But she was too important.
And even as you had the nerve to DENY her what she WANTED, claiming it was "only" what *I* wanted, you accused ME of abusing her!
But it was you.
And you only made her look bad twofold:
Because she shared with you what I'd confided in her.
And because after so cruel an insult to add to our injury I could not even fully trust her promise, reading it in YOUR jeering tone. The same tone that you imbibed her with as though she were your feather quill.
You disgust her as you disgust me.
You made her asexual by taking her innocence. And believe me:
If that had changed, then I would be the first to know. And you would be the last.
And was it MERELY what *I* wanted?
How DARE you?
You have ONLY agreed to EITHER of our wills when it was of benefit to YOU!!
And you NEVER passed up THAT opportunity!!
So from what high horse do you judge me NOW? Admit it: you have no defense. And I am past needing to offend you.
And you will drag neither of us down.
When have WE ever gotten what WE wanted? And did we not persevere despite that?
She is mine. Forever. As she promised.
So give up on spreading lies through Rob and Tony. They don't stir me.
I have her word. And I have deemed it worth as much as mine.
Farewell. Teach your patrons a lesson about the infamous Scorpio silent treatment and what wonders it can work long-term.
Dm.A.A.
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